In the Mean Time.

(the in-between time)

I've decided to inventory all the positives of my job (yes, again. I know I've done this at least once before) in an effort to remind myself I'm lucky to have this thing I call my job.

1. I'm salaried and I'm paid well. If we hadn't dug ourselves into the financial situation we have, we could be living comfortably and saving a lot more each month, but alas, we still make ends meet, somehow.
2. Even when I'm late, I'm here before the rest of my "office" (clarification: my Office consists of me, a co-worker, the assistant director of the department and the director of the department. Oh and I have a student employee.)
3. They gave me a student employee. Some would see this as a negative, but she is very nice so it works out.
4. Due to the composition of my office, there is not the never ending stream of birthday/celebratory carry-ins that plague professional offices all over the country. My waistline thanks me for my choice of employment: in a very small department, with three middle aged men, none of which celebrate Western-cultural holidays.
5. Flexibility on time off.
6. A ridiculous amount of research time. RIDICULOUS.
7. I'm in my own space, so I don't have to listen to them talk to their families/friends on their cell phones in their native language like I'm at one of those nail places at the mall. Plus I can listen to music.

On paper, it doesn't sound half bad does it? Well when you spend years dreaming of this completely intangible job where you change the world and you love getting up each and every morning to do said job, it sort of takes away your will to live...or to at least dream anymore.

In my defense, the actual work I do is so mundane plus it includes any and all secretarial/receptionist type work (including travel planning, and ALL fiscal matters)which is more than a little demeaning in a office full of men. Hire an administrative assistant: I didn't go to college to make your copies.

All in all, I could be doing a lot worse, but I'm still not happy. Damn me and my overachieving nature. It has left me always yearning for something more.