Thursday, October 28, 2010

It strikes again.

Stupid Facebook.

I knew it was going to happen, just not this soon. Little One's mom (who used to stalk Husband on another social networking site, and stalk me and send me emails with lies trying to get to me to break up with him) wants to be friends with us on Facebook. Husband wanted to say "we can be friendly but I wouldn't call us friends" but he didn't know how, so he told her he would be alright with it, but maybe wait until we see each other more (as in, the mom and me). I told him whenever she requests/he approves, he needs to get into his settings and make some changes for what she can see. I know her type. She will be all up in our business. I think he is so glad they are getting along so well he doesn't want to rock the boat, and I am in the same opinion, plus we would get to see pictures of Little One and what not, its just scary? Nerve-racking? Stress-inducing? (All of the above.) I don't update my every move on Facebook anyway, but with her in the mix, I'm going to feel the need to censor myself. And I worry the crazy will come back. I worry the same girl who sent me messages telling me that she's sorry but my (then) boyfriend cheated on me with her and how "they were really serious about getting married some day" (which wasn't the least bit true) will reappear and cause a bunch of unneeded drama in my life.

Maybe she is a changed woman. Maybe she'll continue to play nice and eventually we will turn into some 21st century thing that sort of resembles a quasi-family. I would actually really enjoy that scenario, but the worry is still there, and probably will be there for a few years.

So there you have it, yet another reason Facebook is the devil.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Little things.

They make me really happy sometimes. for example....

I'm not trying to take credit for this, (hah, who am I kidding??) buuuuuuut Kiddo's "new favorite animal" is the owl. They are doing reports on animals at school and she's chosen the Snowy Owl. I've sort of had this thing with them for years, beginning when I was very small and was gifted my great-grandmothers turquoise double owl necklace after she passed. Now that they have become quasi-trendy once again probably has something to do with Kiddo's new affinity for them, but I like to pretend I may have had some influence as well.

Will I ever admit this tiny victory to anyone else? No but it is nice to know I have an impact on her likes, (or at least I like to think so?) even if its something as trivial as "favorite animal" which will probably change 10 more times in the coming years, but oh well. Score one for step-moms every where.

Thursday, October 14, 2010


Child support procedures are pretty messed up these days. The amount my husband is responsible for paying each month was established on September 13. Approximately a week after this, he received a letter stating he was past due and owed X amount of dollars by the following Wednesday. After some quick math and a Monday morning call to the Child Support Enforcement Agency(CSEA for short) the reason was established: he owed back payments from the date he received the court papers. That was Father's Day. I guess they expect people to pull a number out of their hineys and save moolah whilst they wait 3 months for their court date where the actual amount of support to be paid is established?? I definitely gained a few wrinkles trying to make sense of that injustice.

(disclaimer: I know there are scumbags out there who don't care about seeing their children and/or financially supporting them, but the same rules applying to good fathers is a bunch of archaic bullshit that really needs to be reformed.)

But wait, this post was titled '(Pleasantly)Surprised' although there is nothing pleasant about that scenario. I know this, the previously described turn of events was scary, especially since once he talked to CSEA he found out he owed for September as well, which was not included on the back balance and to top it off, we were going into the first month of no paychecks for him due to getting downsized. Fantastic! I had more than one angry crying moment due to it all. It has been handled and he is current (for now) but it was not fun times for a couple weeks.

Moving on to the good part. Yesterday the husband got a phone call from Little One's mom thanking (whaaaaa? this is unheard of in our world) him for the money. She said she was very surprised at the amount and she told him its all going into a savings account she has for Little One. She also suggested meeting at a Chuck E. Cheese 15 minutes from us (they usually meet half way between where we live and where they live, which is 45 minutes away) for this week's visit and that it's all on her. This is coming from the woman who kept husband from seeing his child for years. I'm not sure why or how this change of heart has happened, but it is absolutely amazing.

The part about her thanking him really floored me. It makes me believe she doesn't feel entitled to the money, she feels grateful for it and that makes paying it each month a lot easier. This is much unlike Kiddo's mom, so it is nice to know someone appreciates it.

There was a brief conversation about me coming today, because the Chuck E. Cheese they are meeting at was the one I first met Kiddo at in March of 2007 but they are meeting at 4 so I'll still be at work. Plus I really want her mother to be alright with it, and have time to be ready for me to be there, so it will wait a bit longer. Plus I'm hoping for a sunny fall day/a trip to the park for me being there, because I'll probably cry and then I can hide it with sunglasses at least. I'm a crier, and the last time I saw this child she was a bebe still, and she fell asleep on me at his parents house, and it was precious, so there will most likely be tears.

I was guardedly happy at first at how well things are going with Little One, but that guard is just about gone. I'm sick of having to be so cynical; having to expect the worst, so its nice to see things continually getting better.

Now, if someplace would call the husband back about a job....

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Money CAN buy Happiness....

Or it can at least buy the husband the right to see his child and that makes us both really happy, especially since (in my completely biased opinion) she is pretty stinking cute:

Little One (who isn't so little anymore!) Last Thursday

She is outgoing and full of energy and I love hearing the stories of his weekly visits. Her favorite animal is a skunk and she loves to swing and draw. In November I'll be going with him to visit/"meet" her. (I use quotations, because I knew her from two weeks old to September of 2007, but we are not sure if her mother knows this, and Little One of course won't remember) He wants me to be there when we reintroduce the girls to each other, since Kiddo is pretty reserved around people she doesn't know and Little One is so extroverted and the last time they saw each other, Kiddo was 5 and Little One was about a year and very blonde. I'm sure it might be uncomfortable at first, but once Kiddo warms up to her, they will probably have tons of fun. Or not. Either way, we are a family, albeit a very non conventional one, but a family nonetheless.


We are just as poor as when I was still in college but man, are we happy. Husband job hunts every day, and has taken to Frisbee Golfing a few times a week to get him out of the apartment. I am not looking for a job anymore right now, because I can't take a pay cut with Husband not working. Also when I interviewed at a local private college last week and was told the pay was minimum wage I decided its time to put my job search on hold, and just worry about paying the bills and keeping current on things. And living life and not getting caught up on the problems so much, because really, who wants to waste their time on the bad parts? Not me. I have step-daughters to play with, an adorable baby niece to tickle, a husband to laugh with and great friends to see me through and right now, that's about all I can ask for.