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Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Long.

Long weekends: they rule but have a way of leaving you exhausted and wanting more. 3 days off is not enough. Only about 3 months until the honeymoon week of nothingness on the beach in Florida. It can't come soon enough.
We somehow managed to hang with some friends and see both of our families over the weekend. We were very well fed, but not very well rested and spent a crazy amount of time in the car. My family is about 45 minutes from where we live, and his is about an hour and half, depending on traffic. Very worth it though, we had a great weekend. I think I'm a little more than bummed that it is over. Oh well, must press on with life.

We are going to take the invite materials to the printer tonight...hopefully the price is similar to my calculation of around $30 since money is a HUGE issue right now...there just doesn't seem to be enough for our already low budget wedding.

I've been striving to be as active as possible every day...even if it means doing the free step mode on the Wii Fit for 30 minutes while watching TV at night. I did that last night...but this was after I fell asleep on the couch for an hour. It was one of those "I didn't even realize I was asleep until my phone rang and woke me up" types of naps.

I have work I should be doing but can't seem to get motivated. Blarg.

I promise to have more interesting things to say next time.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thrice.

I see I have more than the lone follower these days....I think that deserves a huge WOO-WOO! Thanks for making me feel loved followers!

I've written before about how I don't care if no one reads this...because its nice to have a quiet place to spew randomness. Alas, I'm discovering it is also nice to get feedback on the randomness from perfect strangers as well, so keep it coming...and tell a friend if you so choose.

So 100 days from today is our wedding. I'll be the blushing bride, trying to eating breakfast (with a mimosa fo' sho') at this point 100 days from today. I'm excited, but still a bit worried about money and how things are going to be executed.
We are going to Kinko's next week to drop off the invite paper for printing....and Fiancé is (supposedly) going next weekend to choose clothing for the men folk. My shower is next Saturday...and I'm mildy excited about this as well. Plus, Fiancé's mom and sister will probably throw me another one sometime in June for his side of things, since they are all based around Columbus. Woo wedding crap. Overall, I'm still way more excited for the trip to Florida at this point and for everything to be done with.... is that messed up? Oh well if it is.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Two-for Tuesday

Inspired by my gorgeous friend Tabatha and her Totally Awkward Tuesdays, here is a glimpse inside my awkward childhood.

It's 8th grade (circa 1997/1998) and I'm at a party for a good friend's birthday. It is at a large apartment complex's "Clubhouse" in my hometown. There are both boys and girls there, plus, my friends cool older sister was chaperoning instead of her mom, she was probably 20something at this time.

So there is an L shaped couch in a sitting area and after a while, everyone seems to be gathering there. The couch was full, so one girl was sitting on the triangular glass topped coffee table with a wooden frame (remember those?) in front of it and told me to sit down next to her...I was hesistant, because

1. I was a chubby child and

2. Was taught to never sit on a glass table. Ever. Not because I was a chub, but just because its never a good idea.

I did anyways since the boy I thought was a cute was sitting there as well. The girl that was sitting with me, gets up and I start to do the same, and crash, I've fallen through the table. Everyone but one girl (I remember it to this day, because she was the only one who asked if I was okay) was in hysterics, laughing their asses off. My friend who's birthday it was followed me as I ran into the bathroom in pure awkward, adolescent, embarrassment and preceded to scream at me about how I'll be paying for it if they charge her sister and blah blah blah. It was awkward and awful. I ripped a small hole in the butt of my jeans and was mortified by whole thing, but I was okay. Birthday girl's sister even told me its alright and that they probably got the table at a garage sale. I think she felt bad because of everyone laughing plus her little sister going postal on me about things.

The story still comes up occassionally to this day, and I've gotten to the point to be able to laugh at it, but its taken many years.


Now for something completely different....this week's To-Do List:

1. Get invites printed! Pricing at Kinko's is way cheap, so we're moving forward with it.
2. Plan and execute the most budgeted trip to the grocery ever, since we have very little money until we both get paid again on the 29th.
3. Call and schedule a hair cut for the 30th in the AM
4. Being work on lit review for Master's Thesis, woo woo!
5. Love the weather and hang outside more.



Happy Tuesday.

Monday, May 18, 2009

PostSecret goodie.

Okay....ANYONE would be terrified of having children if this is what they picture.


It spoke to me, for obvious reasons displayed here and here but also created a creepy image in my brain and I had to re-post it and creep out others. Head over to postsecret for more random, heartfelt and just plain weird tidbits.

Oh and ps-I'm going to finish my Master's by August....because I love a good challenge...ie: writing a Master's Thesis AND planning a wedding AND being Matron of Honor to a wedding in the works for next May. It should make for good blogging...or so I hope!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Grad School.

For calling myself a classic burn out case, grad school won't go away...people won't let my smoldering embers die, so to speak.

Yesterday afternoon my work phone rang and it was my advisor. She found me. It threw me off so bad, but it was good to touch base with her and I knew it would happen eventually, it was only a matter of time. I have been carrying around 412 surveys in my car for the past 6 months. Surveys that focus on what she has studied for the past 15 years, which she kindly suggested I research with her as my Master's Project when she saw me struggling to find my own topic. There was bound to come a day where she finally wanted them back.

I didn't know what to say to her...she made it a point to say she wan't upset or anything and she understands life happens and gets in the way a lot, and now I am going to meet with her this afternoon. She even insinuated since I entered the majority of the data, that she'll give it back to me when she's done w/it and I can finish up....I think. She is awesome for doing this, since I sort of crapped out on her.

But wait, it gets better.

I had to ask my boss if it was okay if I left early to go meet with her around 4 this afternoon. He said, "yes of course that is fine" and I was happy to be leaving at 3:30 on a Friday, woo! Well 10 minutes ago, he came into my office and started asking questions. "When are you finishing up your Master's?" I explained it him what happened, new job + moving + getting engaged + the holidays= no time for grad project plus that I want to finish it but I'm not sure if I have the steam left in me....my classic, "I had been in school for 6 years straight when I stopped" line. He told me to go work it out with my advisor, leave at 3 so we have plenty of time to talk and report back to him Monday with my plans to finish. He even mentioned that once I get the Master's he would look into getting my PhD funded....wait.....what?!? Whoa buddy, he just upped the ante, or whatever they say.

I had high hopes many years ago of getting a Phd but I let those go when I realized the dedication, work and time that goes into it, and now, my crazy, slightly workaholic boss wants to fund it? Really? That pretty much changes everything.

Or does it? I'm so very conflicted on this topic. I know what everyone is thinking...finish the master's at the very least, but I have gotten used to NOT being in school, plus I have a wedding plan, PLUS I'm the Matron of Honor in a wedding that is next May plus I'm freaked out about it....blah blah blah.

Opinions are much needed on this.....

Do I bit the bullet and jump back into the Master's Project now? Wait til after the wedding and start up in September? I truly don't know what to do...my newfound lazy when it come to the idea of school side says "are you insane?!" but the scholar inside me says, "you are SO close to a Master's...and possibly a PhD, doooooo it!!"

HELP!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Gifted?

My attention to detail is ridiculous sometimes. Some may not think this is blog worthy, but I feel so accomplished.

I tell you this because I just plucked a receipt I need to exchange a dress for a smaller size out of the garbage dumpster which was placed there 3 days ago. Gross you say? Indeed, but without said receipt I couldn't exchange so a girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do.

I'll give you some history: I bought a super cute dress to wear for my wedding shower at the end of the month at Target this past weekend. I tried on a large at the store and it was too big so I grabbed a medium and didn't bother to try that one on too, because I can't remember the last time I wore a small anything...besides a small sized bra. I tried it on earlier this evening, and its too big. So I began the search for the receipt and it wasn't in the usual places (bottom of purse, still in the bag in the plastic bag cabinet) then I remembered it WAS still in the bag, which should have been in the plastic bag cabinet because I asked Fiance to put it there a few days ago. Upon digging through our massive amount of plastic bags for a second time, (I keep buying those $1 reusable bags they sell every where now when shopping and I am determined to end the cycle of plastic bags in our home by 2010) I remembered the day I asked him to put it in the cabinet seeing it in the garbage instead...I was a bit put down by this, because he obviously wasn't listening to me when I asked him to put it away, but I let it slide. I considered grabbing the receipt then, but decided a medium will never be too big on me. Whoever came up with "never say never" is wise.

The trash bag containing the Target bag and the stupid receipt went out Tuesday and I just dug it out of our dumpster, along with the Target bag and didn't even gag in the process. Luckily the dumpster isn't too huge, and our trash bag was right inside the sliding door under a box or something. There was a lot of breath holding as I scanned for it, recognizing it by a familiar looking paper towel, but it took all of 30 seconds and now I can return my dress.
This, my friends, made my day. I feel like Charlie Bucket and his Golden Ticket.

Really?

Random wedding nonsense: If you are getting married in 4.5 months, why on Earth would you send a "Save the Date" card?! You are going to send the invites out two months later!
What a waste!

Disclaimer: Planning our wedding has given me opinions on things I usually wouldn't care about. If I would have known all the bullshit that goes along with a wedding, we would have went to the court house, had an informal reception and gone on a really nice honeymoon to someplace tropical (we're going to Florida, so its beachy and budget friendly, but its no Hawaii or Bahamas).

Recently, one of my bridesmaids has begun looking for shoes to go with her dress. I never thought I would give two shits what she puts on her feet for the day, but then she sent me a picture of what she was thinking about and asked if they were okay and I had to say no. The shoe was all wrong for the style of the dress. All of the sudden, I feel like a control freak or even worse, dare I say, bridezilla. Now I'm telling them what to put on their feet?
I love this girl but she just doesn't get it. The dress is a tea length, slightly longer in the back than in the front strapless Chiffon dress and she sent me a photo of these multi colored brown heels with a closed, rounded toe. The wedding is in August and the ceremony will most likely take place outside. They weren't totally ugly, just totally wrong for the dress. They looked like shoes I would wear with a brown pantsuit in the dead of winter. This is quite frustrating because this same bridesmaid who couldn't pick a simple brown dress to compliment mine which is the reason I chose one dress for all of them (which I REALLY didn't want to) and then had to help her pay for it as well. Now I'll probably end up buying her shoes too.

Of course I'm horribly worried she's mad at me about this...she is a good friend and has helped quite a bit so far with wedding planning, but when I said you can pick your shoes, I imagined she could pick something that goes with the dress, not just any brown shoe...

All I can think is, "why did I do this to myself? Why didn't I just put my foot down and tell Fiancé let's just do a Best Man and Maid of Honor and no one else" but it is much too late for that. I have to deal with the repercussions...plus all the other bullshit that goes along with this fiasco.

Bottom line: I love my Fiancé and I'm so excited to marry him, but I strongly dislike wedding planning. The latest tidbit he has surprised me with: Fiancé insists on writing our own vows and not sharing them with each other before the wedding. I love this. It makes me nervous because he plans on writing his the week before the wedding but we decided I will write mine first, probably a month or a couple weeks before because I'm worried I'll be a big ball of nerves the week before. Both will end with, "I give you this ring as a reminder of these promises" or something like that so we can integrate the rings and the vows into one thingy.

Woo for awesome Fiancé.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

ToDo Tuesday.

From last week:
-Go buy myself something to wear for my Shower coming up at the end of the month.
-Get MOH the few addresses I forgot to include as shower invite people...oops!
-Possibly schedule hair appointment, IF the money is there for such a thing right now. No money for this right now.
-Enjoy my new tattoo :)

For this week:
1. Take care of myself better. I haven't been feeling all that great lately. Not exactly sure why, but need to do better with taking care of myself.
2. Try and enjoy the craziness that has taken over my weekends lately. Soooo busy but so thankful for all the good things the busy stuff entails.
3. Figure out how we are going to print the wedding invites.

Later I'll post some awesome awkwardness to help keep Tabatha's Totally Awkward Tuesdays alive :)

Monday, May 11, 2009

Wedding Busy-ness.

I headed to my hometown Friday after work for a planning meeting/dinner about my wedding shower coming up at the end of the month. It was fun and my Maid of Honor/bff, sister and mom along with my sister's awesomely helpful best friend figured out who would bring what food-wise. There will be mimosas involved, I'm uber excited about that tidbit.

We also talked decorations. I suggested two options since I'm not too thrilled with having a shower at all:

1. Balls to the wall-overdone-wedding shower decorations. I wasn't ever the girl who *knew* she would get married someday, so I thought we could really own it and just go all out getting any and every wedding decoration we could find.

OR

2. Make it a literal shower theme. Rubber duckies, soap-on-a-rope, shower caps (?) and things of that nature. This will probably take a bit more creativity.

I think more people will "get" the shower theme, although the guest list is mostly good friends of mine, and the few family members I've invited have a good sense of humor, so I'm really only in danger of confusing/offending the two elderly women who will be there: my grandma and my great aunt. I don't want them to think I don't take marriage seriously, because I do, I just don't buy into all the traditional crap that is expected of me/us since we are planning our wedding.

The overdone wedding decor option would probably be easier and cheaper.

Anyone have any opinions on either?

*EDIT* I just thought of another option:

3. get some candles and three or four bunches of wildflowers they sell at grocery stores and just decorate with those. I don't know if I want any cheesy decorations at all...its just that the place the shower is at is an apartment club house type place, not someone's home, so I felt like it needs something. This option is a bit more classy...plus will end up being more eco-friendly because all those cheap decorations won't be purchased then thrown away. Plus we could gather cloth picnic style tablecloths (think colorful plaids, not gingham) to use...I know my mom and sister have some. I've been asked (nicely) to butt out though...lol. I'm overly involved with the planning of the shower because I feel bad for my best friend/maid of honor. She works 40 hours a week as a paralegal, goes to school full time at night AND is in the beginning stages of planning her own wedding. I trust her, I just don't want her to stress too much.
This option will most likely happen.

I went dress shopping Saturday with her, she's getting married a year from this Saturday and is having a hell of a time finding her dress. She wears the size of most sample dresses, so everything fits and she's 5'9 with curves in all the right places so everything looks fabulous to boot. I told her to not think about it for a day, and then look at the pictures we took and go from there.

It's funny we both ended up engaged and planning weddings at the same time...but we're going for two completely different types of weddings, hers a bit more streamlined and mine a bit more quirky. This pretty much sums us up as people too but that is why we are such good friends...we are different people but love each other for it.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Fail.


So last night I weighed in for the first time in a month due to various reasons. I was out of town for work, and then we were too poor for me to go and then last week I didn't want to face the scale so I used a pass.


I gained 3.4 pounds in a month.


Now, to most people this isn't anything, but to me, this is an epic fail. It could take me another month to month and half to lose this again and the worst part is I've been doing the gym thing 3 to 4 days a week for the past three weeks. So I can pretend this is part of the gain; I'm toning muscles I haven't used in well over a year causing my mass to increase but I also have been half-assing my tracking of food intake and not making good choices w/what I've been eating.


I'm not striving for perfection in my weight loss and I'm NOT doing this because of the wedding...but it would be great to feel confident about my arms the day of and also comfortable in swim suits on the honeymoon.


I know I can do this...but damn it sucks to gain when I've been sweating balls at the gym for the past 3 weeks!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Change.

I'm having a "blogdenity" (hah!) crisis and decided to go for a fresh approach. It's white..reminds me of freshly laundered things and cleanliness.

Maybe it will procure more readers? Anyone?

Bueller?? Bueller???

Oh well, I like it more this way. Hopefully my one follower enjoys the change too.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Can we say 'Awkward'?

Inspired by the lovely Tabulous I am going to share a totally awkward moment from my life today.

For those of you who don't know, my Fiancé is in the business of baby makin'....well, I guess the past-tense is appropriate here, since there has not been one birthed since 2006. His tag line should be: Fiancé: No Babies conceived since 2005!

I digress....anyways, his oldest just turned 7 last Monday and she is the sweetest, kindest and smartest 7 year old I know. I refer to her as Kiddo, and her younger half-sister as Little One. I adore both, and we are currently in court litigation about visitation rights for Little One...still haven't seen her since September of 07...but that's a whole other story.

Back in September of last year, Kiddo put me in a painfully awkward moment, bless her little heart. It was one of our weekends with her and we had been getting ready to build a fort (this was the same weekend as the crazy hurricane force windstorm we had in Ohio, and our power was out so we had to get creative with the entertainment) and something someone said must have made her think of this. She looks at me and says,

"Oh! I have a secret to tell you, but you can't tell Daddy!"

I looked over her shoulder at her father and winked and said to her,

"Okay, lets go into the bedroom and you can whisper it to me there."

I honestly had no clue what she was about to tell me...I sort of thought it might have something to do with something her mother said about her father, but I never would have guessed the next thing that came out of her mouth.

"My mommy thinks your chubby. But I told her you really aren't!"

I tried to keep the composure on my face as I felt the angry tears (I'm an angry crier to the max) beginning to swim behind my eyes and say this as nicely I can in such a very awkward moment,

"Well you can tell your mommy I don't like to say mean things about people, but thanks" or something like that.

I proceed to slyly (I didn't want Kiddo to see me telling him, because I promised I wouldn't) pull Fiancé into the kitchen and give him the run down of what was said. He gave me a "No effing way" look and asked if I was okay and I said no, not really, but that we'll talk about it later then I went to call my sister outside.

So via her (then) 6 year old daughter, my Fiancé's ex called me fat. This is the same woman who used to call Fiancé fat when he was actually very muscular and fit and would make fun of his favorite bands. She's childish and conceited and just a huge bitch.

I was upset, because yes, I was a chubby child and for a moment, I had a flashback to the 3rd grade when the name calling started, but more so I was upset because Kiddo's mom was sending a 6 year old the wrong message about body image. No one should even be thinking about such things at that age.

Kiddo has never said another word about the size of me...but I still wonder what other things her lovely mother tells her about me. I strive to be a good role model for Kiddo, and hope that it pays off in the long run when Kiddo grows up and sees how mean her mother really is.

I always tell Fiancé she is going to get it one day (Kiddo's mom that is) for all the bad karma she puts out....that or someday in the distant future, after Kiddo is 1all grown up I will get to speak my peace with her....and I'm positive the words spiteful bitch will be involved.

To-Do

Last week's list:
Excerise every day. I did the gym Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and cleaned Friday and Saturday plus we got a Wii Fit and I played with it on Saturday and Sunday so I suppose I fulfilled this.
Write down everything I eat. Epic Fail on this. Have to try and do better this week. The weekends kill me every week lately.
Clear my head before bedtime. Tried to do this, and when I did, my dreams weren't crazy.
Not worry over things I cannot control. This is on an going battle, which I did try extra hard to do, and I really "lived in the moment" more than usual this past weekend. Wow, that's corny.

This week:
-Go buy myself something to wear for my Shower coming up at the end of the month.
-Get MOH the few addresses I forgot to include as shower invite people...oops!
-Possibly schedule hair appointment, IF the money is there for such a thing right now.
-Enjoy my new tattoo :)

Seven.

My pal Tabs gave me this pretty:




and tagged me to create a "favorite seven things" so here goes (in no particular order)

1. Fiancé. He truly is my penguin aka lobster aka soul mate and ying to my yang.
2. Sleeping on freshly laundered sheets.
3. Giggling babies....they are infectous and you can't help but giggle with them.
4. The post-workout high. It is what keeps me coming back to the gym every day lately.
5. Lazy Sundays.
6. Chipotle....its like heaven in American-Mexican food form (to me at least).
7. Clothes shopping for Kiddo...I can't seem to buy myself much of anything these days, but I love buying her clothes.

I'm supposed to tag other peeps to do the same...but I'm pretty much a loser and only have the one follower who is the person who tagged me...so any secret stalkers out there feel free to make yourself known and post your 7 favorite things in a comment.

Coming up later: This week's To-Do list.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Ta-Da!

This completely ruins my anonymity of this blog....IF anyone who knows me in real life besides the one follower I have (love ya tabs!) e-stalks me, which they probably don't.....if you do, speak up! I'd love to feel loved :) Oh and hopefully no one steals my identity...but it doesn't matter too much, since my legal name will change in August anyway and I will continue to be Emmalane for all intents and purposes on Blogger....I digress....on with it...new ink:

Sorry for the craptastic image quality...my camera on my cell sucks. This is forever on in the inside of my left wrist because, forever, no matter what my legal last name may be, I'll be Melampy. I have no reservations about changing my name after I'm married, but before Fiancé I didn't really think I would ever meet someone and get married and on the off chance I did, I would be keeping my name or hyphenating. Fiancé's last name pretty much awesome, therefore I take it with great happiness...if he were a Miller or a Jones I don't know if I could do it...is that messed up?

On a somewhat related topic: this weekend was great. We had Kiddo's birthday party Saturday and then Sunday we took her to get a skateboard with some of her birthday money (per her request) and then to the park to try it out. We took a bazillion photos and I'll post a few later in the week if I think about it...she did so well learning the basics and looked adorable the whole time too. I truly hope she isn't being told bad things about me...I have no control over what her mother tells her so there is no telling how things will be in the future. She is such a great kid and she is smart too, so I hope she can see I adore as much as one can a step-child....which I think is just as much as if she was my own....but I don't have my own so I truly don't know. All I know is, I love her father like he's the last man on Earth and she is so much HIS child it is impossible to not adore her.

It's Monday Morning, bitches, and I plan on going at this week balls to the wall to get it over with and make it to another weekend cause that's what I work for right now. Someday I'll figure out the career thing, maybe, but for now, I'm loving every minute of my life besides work, and that's okay with me.