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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Post Snow-Day Blues

Yesterday was a fun day. Fiance was taking a day off anyways (his work ruled that instead of laying someone off, everyone has to take 5 unpaid vacation days in the next three months) so we got to hang out since I got a snow day. Getting up and having to go to work after such a fun day sucks. I'm a little bummed due to this. So, in effort to lift my spirits, I shall post photos of what could very well be my wedding dress:



It is a bit too small in these pictures, so you see things you shouldn't and won't if I decide on it, but everytime I look at the pictures it makes me want it a little bit more :)

Monday, January 26, 2009

emo.

Being happy all the time is exhausting to me lately.

Today, I'm just.....here.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Dresses.

These are the four dresses from the evil David's Bridal I liked.  More on the whole experience later, it sort of exhausted me for the day.  After we left there, we went to the shop we went to on Monday and I tried on the favorite from then, which I think is still my number one favorite.  It's proving hard to pick though, especially since I am liking the more expensive ones better and money is tight.

I really only posted these on here for the re-sizing and I don't feel like blogging right now...so that is all.








Tuesday, January 20, 2009




I haven't really had the motivation to post anything on here in a bit. Wedding planning is going pretty steady...I even went and tried on dresses last night. The blurry as hell one was my favorite but the dress was a size too small and quite snug since they don't carry every dress in every size; you have to order it. We weren't supposed to take pictures at all, but we found this out after taking the other two of the first one I tried on (and later vetoed because that bitch was heavy and the train was too much) which was also a size too small. It wasn't as fun as I imagined but I really do love my sister for helping me in and out of them...I wasn't up for a total stranger seeing me just about naked. Hopefully the next place we go Saturday will do me the same service by letting someone I know help me. We are thinking they may have more of things that will fit me as well. We'll see.

I'm very unhappy at the moment because I have finally figured out exactly how much money I owe in student loans and it is RIDICULOUS. I'm talking sent me into hysterical crying, I almost threw up and then almost passed out ridiculous. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid even if I can consolidate them, that the monthly payment is going to be so high we won't be able to be comfortable, let alone pay for the wedding. I'm never going to be able to afford a new car and we'll probably never be able to buy a house in the town we want to. Being grown up sucks.

All the craptasticness (there's a gem of a made up word) of my financial woes....today was a very awesome day that I will remember as long as I live. I watched for the first time, an African-American become our 44th president. Not only that, I watched with pride for my country and hope for a better tomorrow, not just in the United States, but for the entire world.

Hopefully tomorrow I can put on my big girl panties and face the massive amount of debt I have, but for now, I'm freaking out.

The end.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Phew!!

I came through Christmas and New Years only gaining 6/10 of a pound. Woo! That was me attending two Christmas family functions, celebrating our engagement impromptu style the night of with friends, partying with friends, getting pretty intoxicated on New Years Eve and then celebrating our engagement with the family all while not journaling.

I don't think that's so bad. The one shitty part is, last year I DID keep track and lost about 2 pounds but oh well. It's behind me now and I'm all about doing things the right way. I am going to work out with my WW buddy right after work tonight and will be doing so every Tuesday and Thursday. We also plan on getting a treadmill, but it may have to wait a bit longer since the engagement guitar threw off our fiances for the month.

Stress level is subdued as I am trying to not freak out over things I normally would. I refuse to spend my life in a constant state of panic, and there isn't much I can do about the things I worry so much about anyways.

Wedding planning is coming along. We have an appointment Saturday afternoon at 1 for the venue. Hopefully our date is available. If not, we'll work something out.

Yay for life. Time to work.

Friday, January 2, 2009

So this is the New Year.

I am a little scattered brained today. This week has confused the shit out of my sleep schedule and I slept like crap last night. Most likely because I took a two hour nap yesterday while fiancé watched one of the 15 college bowl games on tv (we still don't have cable, so I can't really argue when there is literally nothing else on) but I digress...

I am trying to get to a point....but I'm having trouble remembering what it was in the first place. Oh yes, the standard reflective New Year's blog. That is where I was going with this.

I love New Year's. I actually think it is a semi-neurotic girl's best friend. Here is why: you get a fresh start. The Calendar says so. It is a new year. Right now we all have 363 days in front of us (barring any freak accidents) to do with what we choose. Here is how I choose to spend 2009:

The biggest one that pretty much overlaps with the other small promises I have for myself is
1. stress management. I will strive to get a handle on my stress level and bring my normal state of being down a couple notches on the stress. Along with this, comes the
2. healthy lifestyle I want to continue practicing. Eating right and exercising has a HUGE impact on my moods. Last but not least, I want to
3. find a new hobby that incorporates the first two. As much as I love reading, its competely sedentary, makes me sleepy and hurts my eyes when I over do it. Other than that, I've decided only the extreme OCD truly claim cleaning as a hobby, therefore I will no longer do so (haha), I don't have much in the hobby area these days. There is a yoga studio literally next door to where we live, and in a couple weeks (after I've been active on a daily basis again for a bit...I don't want to hurt myself) I'm going to go check things out and join a beginner's class.

I am excited for 2009. If you can't tell from the fiancé talk, Boyfriend proposed on Christmas night and has transformed into Fiancé, woo! We are pretty much set on the end of August (Tabulous: you will get a full explanation on this at a later date) and I'm getting my first taste of real wedding planning. I have a binder going already with preliminary guest list and timeline of things needing to be done. So one year from now, I will be a Mrs. AND a Step-Mom. I am actually excited about both those things, strange as it may seem. I really do love Kiddo and Little One and can't wait to be an official, legal part of their lives.

Now I know things probably won't go exactly as planned and there will be times where I am stressed over things I shouldn't be, eating deep fried things and sitting on my ass, but we are all human and if I think I'm NOT going to mess up, I would be crazy.

Happy 2009. I hope everyone has a great NEW year.