I haven't really had the motivation to post anything on here in a bit. Wedding planning is going pretty steady...I even went and tried on dresses last night. The blurry as hell one was my favorite but the dress was a size too small and quite snug since they don't carry every dress in every size; you have to order it. We weren't supposed to take pictures at all, but we found this out after taking the other two of the first one I tried on (and later vetoed because that bitch was heavy and the train was too much) which was also a size too small. It wasn't as fun as I imagined but I really do love my sister for helping me in and out of them...I wasn't up for a total stranger seeing me just about naked. Hopefully the next place we go Saturday will do me the same service by letting someone I know help me. We are thinking they may have more of things that will fit me as well. We'll see.
I'm very unhappy at the moment because I have finally figured out exactly how much money I owe in student loans and it is RIDICULOUS. I'm talking sent me into hysterical crying, I almost threw up and then almost passed out ridiculous. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid even if I can consolidate them, that the monthly payment is going to be so high we won't be able to be comfortable, let alone pay for the wedding. I'm never going to be able to afford a new car and we'll probably never be able to buy a house in the town we want to. Being grown up sucks.
All the craptasticness (there's a gem of a made up word) of my financial woes....today was a very awesome day that I will remember as long as I live. I watched for the first time, an African-American become our 44th president. Not only that, I watched with pride for my country and hope for a better tomorrow, not just in the United States, but for the entire world.
Hopefully tomorrow I can put on my big girl panties and face the massive amount of debt I have, but for now, I'm freaking out.