Friday, July 31, 2009
Fiancé and I had words last night regarding our guest list issues. They were not pleasant words and there were probably more tears (on my part) than words at one point. I'm not going to give the play by play because it was a very stupid argument and it wasn't really resolved, besides me saying, "well that didn't fix anything so we might as well call a truce" (this was when I reached over and shook his hand as we laid in bed and he laughed at me). I'm trying not to stew about it, but it is very hard since I'm on wedding-mode just about 24/7 at this point. Which is what I blame for the argument. I'm very extreme with my emotions right now...very very happy or very very not.
I have a to-do list with more things that cost money than things that do not, until last night the list was comforting, but today it feels like the bane of my existence. Okay, its not that bad...I just want to get everything taken care of in the next week or two so I can have some major chill out time the two weeks before the wedding.
The Dress Shop still hasn't called. Last week when I talked to them, they said my dress should be in by "early next week". Well its Friday of "next week" and they still haven't called to tell me it is in. They have until 2pm to call, and then I will be calling them to figure out what is going on with things.
Hopefully the next time I blog it will be to announce I have the damn dress in my possession.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Today I will share with you my most awkward job interview moment (thus far I should say, for I know I won't be rockin' the job I'm at now for eternity and let's face it: job interviews are much like a majority of first dates: awkward at best).
But I, like usual, digress...
It was nearing the end of last summer and I had been on a few interviews prior but hadn't landed my first "grown up" job. The interview was actually a second interview with a small private university for an admissions counselor position. I was pretty excited about the job, especially since the school that eventually becomes my employer was taking eons to get back to me and it was nice to have another option.
Anyways...in this interview there is the Director of Admissions who had been present in my first interview with them. He is about 28 I would guess and there was also the Dean of Students or some other executive-type-higher-ed-40-something-man-guy (yeah I said man-guy, like a guy barely 40 who is still hanging on to his 30s type) too.
I was being my charming self and it was more like we were having a conversation than doing an interview, although I would tie back whatever we were discussing to how much I love working in higher ed (I worked on campus the entire time throughout my college career, both undergrad and graduate school) and lots of other BS to make myself sound nice...most of it is true, I do love working in higher ed, but you know how interviews are ;)
As we nearing the end, I asked what kind of time line they were on, (basically to see how long it would be before I was offered the job or not) and Dean of Students Man-Guy starts rambling about how long things take and the bursts out with "Oh! I wanted to tell you, because I totally forgot to tell the last person we interview with, we do a background check, but not a drug screen!" then he smiles really big and pauses.......and I had to choke back a nervous laugh just because it completely threw me...did he say that to see if I would react? Why would he tell me that at all? Is this 40-something-man-guy a stoner? Really??
Did they think if I wouldn't have passed a drug screen, I would have rejoiced in front of them thus giving away how I am a drug abuser looking to infiltrate their small university? (Side Note: I will admit, at one time in my life I would have not passed, but at the time of this interview I definitely would have but my past just made this more awkward and hilarious all at once.)
I played it off, and said, "Oh, okay"and politely smiled.
They offered me the job about a week later...but my present employer offered me way more money to turn them down. At least I got an awesome/awkward interview story out of it!
Monday, July 27, 2009
I contacted the dress designer again last week and they contacted this other shop, whom they do business with in order to have it shipped there. I have to pay what Sharnett Bridal owes the the designer...but that is only about half of what I paid Sharnett in the first place. So yes it sucks, but I would've probably ended up spending that much or more on a new dress and I love my original dress so why get someting different?
We have the bridesmaids squared away as well (since their dresses were also ordered from the store that closed) a la Target online. I love me some Target!!
Somewhat related but pretty random: I came across a forum posting on my bridal networking site where a bride just bought her 4th dress, and its a month from her wedding. It said something like "I'm finally satisfied" or something. I can't imagine putting myself through what I've gone through with my dress in the past month on purpose...but, to each his own, right?
I'm actually getting excited about things...and not just excited for the honeymoon, but excited for the actual wedding day, woo woo!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Wait! That't not true! I have shoes and my veil.
I returned my replacement dress. It was a very beautiful dress but I felt very fat and not pretty in it, and decided w-day is the one day I should be exempt from feeling those things.
So now I wait. I wait for the call from the store owner, or perhaps a miracle....that a package containing my wedding dress will be on my doorstep one evening. I have a few other options as well...I just really want the dress I paid for and ordered in February. BUT...if I can't have it, I'm still getting married to my lovely fiancé and that is the most important thing and I know it. He has been so great through all of this; completely supportive and somehow conveyed his "it doesn't matter what you wear" man-neutrality on my clothing for our wedding without upsetting me.
So I say fuck it. Fuck this dress bullshit and the sleep I've lost over it.
I'm getting married in 40 days!!!!!! WOO-HOO!!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Awkward is not being obsessed over our wedding but being expected to be by society and even by people who have known me my whole life. People who knew I was firmly in the "I doubt I'll ever get married" club for a very long time and still being asked by them "what are your colors?"
It is drilled into girls so young to be consumed by weddings and colors and the perfect dress and the perfect day and its YOUR DAY (not "their day" because the plural actually includes the love of your life and its not even really about him.....besides that YOU ARE MARRYING HIM) and you're a princess and you're expected to be a complete bitch and make your bridesmaids wear the same dress and shoes and jewelry and hair and to be suddenly concerned with flowers and favors and colors and types of ribbon. So when I ventured out into the wide world of wedding planning, I've been met with a lot of strange looks and behaviors for not being so typical.
All I have wanted since we got engaged was to NOT be stressed in the planning process and to create a day that reflects us as a couple and that celebrates love. There have been a few small incidents, but nothing compares to my dress shopping experiences.
The first shop I went to was on a Monday evening. My sister was with me and we were not even approached by an employee until my we had pulled a bunch of dresses Then we were sort of yelled at for, because they usually only pull 5 at most at a time. Then we took pictures of me the first dress I put on and were told we weren't allowed to do that either. Great start. I had one I really liked, but I wanted to try more.
I should have done my research, and not gone to the SeventhCircleofHell for dress shopping round two, but I was on a budget, so it was off to D's Bridal for me. There I was tortured by being assigned an associate who was easily 75 years old and had a way less than pleasant disposition. When I arrived for my scheduled appointment, the receptionist at the store told me my associate would be with me soon. I asked if I should start pulling dresses, and was told oh no, they would do it for me. Cool I thought. Well, not really. She made me do that while she went to get me a slip and a bra, and then put my girls to work pulling stuff, which was fine, but then she complained if they brought dresses that were a size too small or a size too big for me to try. She didn't even ask me if I wanted one of them to help me in and out of things, she just did it, and stabbed me with her long red finger nails as she put me in and out of about 15 dresses. She had the worst people skills I had ever experienced. I am a pretty easy person to talk to, but she made me so uncomfortable. It was awful.
I later decided to purchase the favorite dress from the initial store. The day I was measured was another one laden with awkwardness. I was treated like I was an inconvenience and was rushed through the process. I'd never had measurements of any kind taken so I didn't know what to expect and the girl measuring me was a total bitch. When I asked what "private designer" meant (I was told my dress was made by one of the shops private designers) because I had some ethical concerns, the owner matter-of-factly told me, "honey they are all made in sweatshops, so unless you have a dress custom made that's where its coming from, but I've been to them, and they are that bad" and it wasn't so much what she said but how she said it. Then I was scooted out the door as fast as they could take my full payment in cash.
I felt like because I did not purchase an extravagant, princess ball gown I was treated like crap. On a later visit when I mentioned how I was looking for 3 different dresses with brown lace accents the girl helping me that day looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my nose.
My original dress....isn't she lovely?
Now, recent events discussed in Adventures in Wedding Planning have forced me to purchase other dress since my original one has gone MIA.
Dress number two...pretty but not perfect.
Lesson Learned: To avoid awkward moments and lots of frustration by not buying into the Wedding Industrial Complex in American Society, Elope and have an informal BBQ reception unless you can afford a full service wedding planner....or if you do buy into the WIC, more power to you...it's just not me.
Monday, July 13, 2009
My dear friend Tabatha tagged me for one of these, so I thought it would oblige, albeit a bit late.
8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Florida. In 48 days and counting.
2. The wedding crap to be taken care of.
3. The wedding dress crap to be sorted out.
4. Getting a massage the week before w-day from my massage therapist friend.
5. Going to bed at 9pm tonight.
6. Being married.
7. Going to the gym sometime today.
8. Seeing my brother in August.
8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Visited with my dad for a bit.
2. Shopped from 11:30 to about 5:30 with my mom and sister for something for my mom to wear to the wedding. Didn't find anything.
3. Called back dress people and left ANOTHER voicemail.
4. Bought Kiddo's Wedding Day gift and had it engraved, its a snowglobe, she collects them.
5. Bought my sister's wedding party gift.
6. Hung out with Fiancé and Kiddo for a bit.
7. Watched the first Season of Sex and the City (I'd never seen it in its entirety)
8. Drove a lot.
8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
3. Speak another language fluently.
4. Figure out what the hell I want to do as a career.
5. Finish my Master's...this one will happen, but its not going to be fun getting there at this point.
6. NOT worry incessantly about money.
7. Cook well and enjoy the process of doing so.
8. Write a book. I don't know if I have the patience.
8 Shows I Enjoy:
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Three Sheets
5. Ghost Hunters (not International though)
6. Jon and Kate Plus Eight, its been my guilty pleasure since BEFORE it was cool to be a guilty pleasure.
7. Myth Busters
8. This is where I remind you I don't have cable.
8 Friends I'm Tagging
This doesn't work for me, but I am tagging my three readers who aren't the one who tagged me for this:
Friday, July 10, 2009
The "ship date" for my dress given to me by Sharnett (on February 14 when I paid in cash, in full) was today, July 10, 2009. After leaving a voicemail on the shop owner's cell phone and sending an email with more than enough information and not getting a response to either, I contacted the designer of my dress directly. They told me my dress was ordered, made and ready to go, but never paid for. I had already given Sharnett my money, and now I was going to have to pay AGAIN to have them ship it to me.
There is an internet bridal gown business based out of a nearby town who is offering any bride who paid in full at Sharnett half off any dress they have in stock and their prices are already way lower because they cut out the middle part of buying the dress. They were absolutely wonderful people. They were my best dress buying experience that I wasn't even supposed to have.
So here is my new and improved wedding dress.....
And if by some chance stroke of luck my original dress appears on my doorstep (which I'm not holding my breath, I was made to pay in cash, so all I have is my receipt for a paper trail and this woman has done this before) the place this dress is from will let me return it for a full refund. Oh and those little straps will most likely not be there...we were just trying them out but I don't think I like them at all.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
You see, I've been sort of lax on the blogging as of late. Mostly because I feel a very strong urge to bitch and moan every time I go to post something and I don't want to be a downer so I choose not to share on those particular days. Which lately, seems to be....well Every. Stinking. Day.
I need to get it out...so out with it: (although I will try to see the silver lining and put a positive spin on things)
I am struggling with this mess of a wedding...one day I am ready to take charge and the next I want nothing to do with it. I made a "everything left to do" list yesterday and its not awful, although the "things needing done that don't cost money" section is v. small, just like our bank account balance which in this case, is v. bad news, since just about everything we have left to do requires purchasing things.
I started working on my Master's Project again early last month but seem to have lost steam on that once again. My current excuse is, "my advisor is out of the state on vacation until July 20, so I can't do much more w/o consulting her" which is really, a load of crap...well, yes she really is on vacay, but I could be doing a lot on my own, I just choose not to. I know I'll finish, I just keep putting it off.
All the while I am trying with all my might to not worry incessantly about money. It is a HUGE problem for me...even when we have money, I worry about expensive "what if's" that could pop up. So I try and remember how most people don't have enough right now...and we both still have jobs and a place to live and cars that run and we are in love and getting hitched and we are really lucky to have each other.
So make me feel better today, lovelies....what is your biggest worry as of today, July 1st 2009? Sharing is fun...and it might make you feel a little bit better as well.