Friday, May 9, 2008

Change....or not.

The idea of change is complex when you really start thinking about it. Its something that some people fear, some people embrace, and even some people seek out in life.  I used to say I loved changes, something about the mystery of the unknown gave me this rush unlike anything else.  Then I experienced some changes that weren't so fun...heartbreak, people dying that I actually knew and loved, friendships fading and all the other realities you can't really learn about being a major part of adulthood until you are living it.

Now, there have been some positive changes I've experienced too. They have helped to make me a much better person inside and out. Most of these are changes I made happen. They weren't easy by any means, and sometimes I wonder what if I never would have decided to change in the first place. Where would I be....and more importantly who would I be? Most likely a different person than the one typing this.

I've never consciously decided to not change something I had good reason to; something which would better me as a person (besides the whole nicotine addiction; thats a whole other story though) and it seems as though I've encountered someone convinced they cannot change; even though it would better them, due to past experiences. I think this is complete bullshit.  

I'm a firm believer that if you want to change you can.  You decide how and who you are in life. No one matter how shitty someone treated you or how bad it scarred you. I've been treated pretty shitty by a number of people (I could probably count them on both hands, but still) but I am still the best person I can be, at least in my opinion, but I suppose that is a bit biased.