True?

coaster wisdom a la my favorite sister.

Day TwentyFive/TwentySix: Life.

(I tend to suck at writing over the weekends, so here is two more posts to keep me on track)

The reason you believe you’re still alive today.

Besides the biological fact that my body is functioning and keeping me alive? I think I am still here because of a few very important people.

First, my bff since the 8th grade. Adolescence was hard on me, but having one person who always took my side and often defended me to others really made things bearable. Now that we are adults (so weird to say still) and I look back and feel so damn lucky to have had her. I don't know if I would have made it through high school without her. Her house was my second home, and her mom is my second mom. We don't see each other nearly as often as either of us would like, but when we do get together it always feels like it used to...besides that we work 40 hour weeks and both have husbands.

Second, my sister. I remember being 6 years old and I got to ride along with her on a errand to the grocery store (she was 16 at the time). I didn't talk much, because I didn't know what to say to her but I remember thinking to myself, someday we'll be great friends and have so much talk about. And then we were. I was 16 and she was 26 and I would spend the night with her on the weekends mostly to not have to worry about a curfew, but also just to hang out. And to get advice on things I couldn't talk to our mom about. Now I'm 26 and she's 36 and I talk to her every day, either on the phone or through messaging. She's a mom and I'm a step-mom but I sometimes spend the night at her place still, but now it's so I can play with my niece. I'm pretty much obsessed with her, and I feel like I am supposed to be here to support my sister as she raises her.....but I still get advice on things I can't talk to my mom about.

Third, my husband. I've written more times than I probably should about how we met and how he balances me so well so I won't go there again. We don't have much money, we have more scheduling/event planning issues than a conference center and our relationship isn't perfect by any means (he does this pouty-child face while he stares at the floor and doesn't say anything whenever we have a disagreement, it drives me nuts) but at the end of the day, we love each other and we face all the problems together and that makes all the difference. I still get excited to see him when I get home from work every day. He has brought me more joy than I've ever known and he's allowed me to be the part of two little girls lives in the process, which I feel like is another part of the reason I am here. I know it can't be easy on kids when their parents are not together, so I really try to be a positive influence/role model for them as much as possible and I feel like that is part of why I met the husband, it be a positive female in the lives of these little girls.

Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?

Yes. Junior year of high school and because I was very depressed.

Looking back, I wish I could have known then what I know now....about how much stuff in high school doesn't matter, but I didn't. And it did matter back then; it was all that mattered. All that matters now though, is I didn't give up, I made it through, and life is so much more than 4 years spent in high school.

Niece( !! )

Lillian Lane Mullins Born at 4:28a on 4.28.10 Weighing in at 5 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 19 inches long.

First peek we had of her.

She looks a lot like my sister, its crazy.

So tiny!

It's too early to be up!

I was pretty much exstatic.

My mom was beaming.

She's so pretty.

I won't lie, I was half expecting My niece's birth to trigger my urge to reproduce, but no such thing has happened. I am completely in love with her....as my niece that I can spoil and cuddle and keep for weekends and bring presents. I'm exhausted, because I was up for about 30 hours and then slept for 4 and went back for another visit, then slept for 10 and here I am, but it was totally worth being there for it all. My sister is doing great and even though she was born at 36 weeks, to a type 1 diabetic 35 year old mom Lilly Bird is happy and healthy as a one day old baby can be. And I honestly never understood how people can say newborns look like anyone, because they are so tiny and old man looking, until now. This baby seriously looks like my sister, its crazy.

So my Step-Daughter's Birthday is April 27 and my Niece's Birthday is April 28. We are screwed when it comes to having money throughout the month of April from this point on :)

Baby. (NO I'm not prego)

My sister and I had a late blooming friendship that started when I was about 18 and she was 28. Back then, she was sometimes more like a second mom than a sister, but now that I am older, we are more like equals, although she still has that older sibling wisdom that comes in handy. (Plus she has worked for the children services branch of social work for over a decade, and that comes in handy from time to time as well, with my Maury Povich type baggage laden Husband. Bonus!)

Us at my Bachelorette, cheesin' it up.

That is the main reason I am borderline-crazy excited about the birth of her daughter (let's call her Baby M), plus I may not want my own, but babies sort of melt my heart. The fact that I am officially this little bebe's aunt adds to the excitement. I married in to 3 nephews and a neice, and although I adore all of them, its slightly different this time, because ITS MY SEEEESTER!

At her work shower, she was about 6 1/2 months here

Yesterday I went down for a visit. They have gotten the room all ready for Baby M. and also renovated their bathroom and I needed to see both, along with Sister's growing belly. I had also been collecting random things since March to give her, since I can't help myself when it comes to baby clothes/accessories. Magnify that by it being my sister and I'm pretty much constantly buying something for the not-even-born-yet child. There's a good chance she may end up being the only from-birth grandchild for both sets of her grandparents. (I say from birth, since my mom has already taken to buying Kiddo and Little One gifts whenever appropriate plus random things whenever she feels like it.) Needless to say, Baby M. will not want for anything, but I know she won't be spoiled rotten either, at least not from my sister and brother-in-law, they are both going to be awesome parents. Me? I'm going to cuddle her, buy her things, even babysit occassionally and when she's older, keep her on weekends and then give her back til next time. I made one small change to Baby M's room:

There was a random dress hanging where the best onesie ever now resides, a close up:

At least I hope she will. Only a few more weeks til she's here. Plus I'll be conveniently in my hometown for my bff's wedding around the time Sister thinks they are going to induce her, if Baby M doesn't decide its time to meet the world before then. Life is pretty unpredictable, so either way, I'll be meeting my new lil neice real soon. Who's ridiculously excited about this fact? That would be me :)