I'm standing close to a huge intersection in my life. And while I know either road will take me to the next adventure (my new job) the two routes are so very different.
There is the anxiety ridden route. It looks like a gigantic city with one-ways and stop lights and dark clouds. And my GPS is broke.
Then there is the slightly curvy, partly-sunny country back road. This way looks so much more appealing. I want to choose this path, but I'm worried my mind will steer me towards the other.
I have been striving (and mostly succeeding) in living a happier life since we moved. One where I stop worrying about things I cannot control as soon as the thought crosses my mind; where I truly soak in moments and am fully present in them instead of halfway thinking about tomorrow's troubles like I used to spend all of my time doing.
I keep busy. If I'm not busy I go for a walk. I'm not killing myself working out nor beating myself up about it when I don't exercise like I told myself I should be. I'm only human. I am mindful of what I put in my body.
I'm trying to be happy with what I have, instead of constantly focusing on what I want. Do I need these things? That always cuts the list in half.
I dream again; day dream of things I want to do and places and I want to go. I use this lovely site called Pinterest to organize these dreams. Even if I don't get to them all, it is great to have hopes again.
I want to be great at my new job, not just good. I spent the last 3 years stagnant in a job I tolerated for a paycheck. This is my chance to do some interesting and something I might actually enjoy doing every day to boot.
I am choosing the sunny road, not the complicated city streets shrouded in black clouds. I am choosing to be happy, mindful and (sometimes stupidly, but oh well)optimistic.
I'm taking the scenic route on this one, and I'm going to enjoy the ride.