I submitted a rambling piece of writing to a blog http://portraitsofaneconomy.blogspot.com/ which is addressing how the current state of our economy (for lack of better words) sucking is effecting them. (side note: you should check it out, people from all over the country are writing in with all kinds of different stories...mine is the only Ohio one to date...and probably the one with the worst grammar) Ever since then, I've been thinking about my life as a whole and wondering how such an insanely interesting person as myself (ha) got stuck behind a desk, working 40 hours a week at a mostly boring, sometimes frustrating job.
What do I really want to do with my life? Or at least if I do end up working in higher education for the next 30 years (def not at the institution I'm at now...holy jesus, I'd lose my mind), can't at least have awesome hobbies to counteract my seemingly normal day job? Please??
Asking myself these questions makes me realize I'm a grown up now and I decide my hobbies and what I do with my time when I'm not working hard for the money.
I tend to dream more than I do...I want to do a yoga class at this studio that is literally 3 doors down from where I live, but I still haven't signed up. I would love to take an art or pottery class, even though I'm thoroughly un-artistic, but I love to learn an am willing to try. I need to get a kitty in my life before I end up thinking I want to have a baby some day and then having one and remembering all the reasons I have ALWAYS been against reproducing (mostly the whole being in charge of shaping a person's pysche freaks me out....along with my chubby and horrible eyesight genes cursing the poor thing with a childhood filled with hurtful words from little snot-nosed bastards...I've come a long way, but still carry those scars).
I consider myself assertive....but it seems like things that I want to do for myself always fall to the wayside but don't get the wrong idea thinking I'm some martyr. As soon as I get the least bit stressed due to trying to make everyone else happy, I crack and usually get mean and bitchy when I realize I'm unhappy.
I guess the bottom line here is I need to get a life. Sure I have friends, teeny-bopper book series (don't get my started on the Twilight series, I may never shut up) and my slowly growing addiction to cyber-space, but I think I need to start living my Ohio life a little bit more for me.