Call me the Queen of Suburbia.

The exodus from Apartamento to the Suburban Castle (our new humble abode) went smashingly well. We have some amazing friends in our lives for helping us on one of the hottest days of the year so far. There were some hiccups, but I was Zen like all day. I know, shocking, right?

Two weeks in and we are getting the hang of the space. I'm still wrapping my head around the amount of storage space we now have. There are about 5 boxes in the living room that still need unpacked, so bare with me, but we have gone from this:


To this:


Another angle:


The tree tapestry seen in the last photo is the coat closet; this place is full of craptastic old closet doors, which now live in the garage. We also took off the ones in the master bedroom and the girls' room. Here is a peek at their room (as of Sunday):

I sort of want to hang a curtain of some sort on their closet...but I'm not sure? There is a lot of storage/toys going on in there, so I feel like it would be nice to close the curtain at bedtime. I have a cute black and white floral cloth shower curtain I'm not using right now, so I might pick up another tension rod and try it? Not sure at this point about that. Also, I am secretly ecstatic that I got to hang up the teen magazine posters in an orderly fashion; you should have seen them at the apartamento. It was chaos.

from the door:

I plan on getting two more sets of curtains to frame out the pink sheers, something purple I do believe. I think it will cozy it up a bit. We also want to get some of those over sized letters for the girls' to decorate and hang over their beds. I saw some cardboard ones at Hobby Lobby a while back, which I think is perfect, because if it does fall off the wall, it won't hurt them.

I have these on order from Amazon, for a project for the bedroom (more to come later). IKEA will also be getting a good chunk of my monies soon.

Since I love a good list, here is a run down of everything we still need to do/get:

Living Room
Curtains (IKEA sheers, for starters)
DVD Storage (Lerberg from IKEA x3 or 4)
Closet doors off; tree tapestry turns into curtain w/tension rod and clips
Switch out ginormous ceiling fan? Perhaps!

Kitchen
Island (buy or re-purpose something else)
Chalkboard Wall
Girls' Art Gallery-need to ID drawings for this and get sizes for frames (IKEA)

Laundry/Utility Room
Steel Shelving to create pantry storage
Hang curtain to hide furnace/Hot Water Heater (IKEA again)
Organizing bins for cabinets over washer/dryer

Hall
Hang Framed photos (size each with paper ads, hang papers on wall in pattern, nail through and hang up pictures)

Bathrooms
Get 1 small and 1 large rug for main bath, brown
existing large green one goes in half bath
Something for walls-one picture has been printed, just need a frame and I'm thinking of shopping what we already have for the half bath.

Girls' room
Hang up collage wall near Kiddo's bed
Organize toy bins/put in closet/take off closet doors to maximize floorspace
Curtains (still need purples, IKEA?)
Big Letters for over their beds
Spice racks as front facing bookshelves from, you guessed it, IKEA
DIY Canopies (maybe)

Master
Long and low dresser 6-8 drawers, I want to find old one and re-paint and get new hardware for
Bedskirt/new bedding
DIY project with Wallflowers-ordered
Prints off Etsy (frames IKEA, do you see a pattern here?)
Different curtains-eventually

I have yet to unpack my books and get the Expedit 100% organized, so that is on the agenda for tonight.

I love how this place is evolving and I can't wait to see what it will become by the end of the Summer. The husband and I keep saying this place makes us feel like grown ups; I feel like it is exactly where we need to be right now. We have the opportunity to acquire all the crap we need for a house, without having to worry about the upkeep on things. I think by the time our lease is up (in two years) we might actually be able to look into buying. Or not, but that is okay too.

The other day my sister says, "what's with all the talk of "projects"? When did you become so crafty?" I've been reading on the interwebs about all this stuff basically since I got married in 2009, now I have a blank slate to execute on, and I'm so excited. And you know what? I just can't hide it.

A Change Would Do You Good.

I like to pretend I'll commit to new projects, and be consistent. Then I'm not.

The 40DaysMovement project sort of fell through, although I am starting the 30 Day Shred video today after work, and I'm excited to do so. I need a kick in the ass, and I know annoyingly fit Jillian Micheals will do it for me.

I want to try to resurrect the Snapshots project though, especially with all the stuff coming up for us. We'll see how that goes.

Oh well, call me a bad blogger, if you will. I do always come back, eventually, making up excuses (mostly for myself) about why I, once again, failed to stay consistent at posting. Or exercising. Or much of anything. Oh well. I'm going to forgive myself this time, and not dwell.

Besides, I mostly write this blog for my own little documentary purposes, even if they are meager at best. So I'm really only letting myself down.

Anyway.

Crazy-exciting news. We are moving. As of June 1 we will no longer be in our hippish-small town, but in Surburbia. I will miss our little town, but the 'burbs have their perks, both in the physical space we call home, and in a more general, accessibility of things. It is a ranch style duplex-condo-apartment-half house type of dealy. (I don't like the word "duplex" so I'm having trouble naming it.) It is one building, with two units. The landlord lives next door, and she is pretty cool, and we tend to keep quiet these days anyway.

The new place perks:
One story aka: no more 21 steps of death.
Garage. YAY.
Washer/dryer hookups meaning no more laundry mat.
Utility room. No more cat box in the ONE storage closet we have.
Side patio
Backyard
Ceiling fan in living room
Coat closet in living room ie: for shoes, coats and board games. (yay storage.)
Gas range, I grew up with one, and prefer it to electric.
1.5 baths, which is FANTASTIC since I have a husband who enjoys camping out in the bathroom sometimes, if you know what I'm saying.
3 bedrooms ( More STORAGE!)
Attic above the Garage...did I mention I'm really excited about the Storage?

I am now realizing we have basically be living with all of our crap in plain sight since we moved into together. Neither place we've lived has had ample storage. The amount of storage in this place is making me giddy. I thrive on a tidy home, and being able to store the less visually appealing things we own makes me so very happy.

Let's say it one more time: STOOOOORRRRRAGE! Yay.

This is place is literally within walking distance to the husband's work, a fishing pond and a huge playground. It is also a 5 minute drive to some really great friends. Target and Kroger's are right down the road.

I think it will be a great change for everyone, even the girls. We discussed the fact that the move puts more distance between them and us. The husband pointed out the way things are with both of them, being 1 hour away is no different than being one town away; we are (sadly) not included in their lives with their mothers and their maternal families. So he is 100% alright with us being closer to my hometown than his and subsequently, further from the girls as well.

New half casa, in iPhone photos (nothing exciting, since it's just empty rooms, but pics nonetheless):

Living Room, from front door, with husband in doorway to kitchen

Kitchen, side door to patio is left of Fridge, Hallway right of oven, Utility Rm right of Hallway

Full Bath, from main entry (one of the lights is out, hence the super bad lighting)

View standing in Master, looking through the half bath into the full (there are pocket doors)

The packing has began. And I have some plans to document the move. Good things to come!

Logic vs. Intuition.

Logically, my college educated, sociology laden brain is screaming, "NOOOOOOO! Baby is not the best choice!" But then there are millions of years of evolution inside me, quietly nudging, "BAAAAAAABBBBBBBEEEEEEEE, makeabaaaaaaabbbbbeeeeeee".

And it is slowly driving me nuts, the push and pull of it all.

So, since I love a good list, a made a pros and cons list for (possible) procreation. In no apparent order:

Pros:
-Will shut up biological clock
-Tiny clothes, shoes and hats w/ears
-Someone to take care of me when I'm old
-cousin for Baby M. (my niece)
-Sibling for Kiddo and Little One
-Having a mini-me (or mini husband in the case of a boy) would be cool
-Getting to parent the way I want, not tip toe around the hard stuff like I do w/the girls because I never want them to say in anger, "you're not my mother!" I already know that.
-Never a boring moment
-hugs and cuddles
-finger painting possibilities
-Being told "you two would make such cute babies!" makes me curious...
-Giving my husband the chance to do the baby thing, one last time when he will be there for all the milestones he missed out on with the girls

Cons:
-Body never the same
-Mass amounts of laundry
-Taking care of for 18+ years
-Another person to bathe, clothe, feed etc...
-Taking Dad time away from Kiddo and Little One
-Babies turn into kids who turn into teenagers (who, in general, are annoying at best)
-College $
-childcare costs (I doubt we could afford me to do the SAHM thing, sadly and that opens up a whole other issue with me: why have kids if I'm going to pay someone else to basically raise them?)
-doctor's visits
-sticky hands/faces
-Lack of sleep
-loss of identity

This is where I stand on the topic. 12 cons versus 12 pros. Completely torn.



***

My husband and I were watching a TV show last night and one of the characters was getting a vasectomy. He mentioned, "If you are 100% sure you don't want kids we should look into that for me". I all could say was I don't know. Twice. And that is a lot different than how I used to respond to such a discussion. I should have laid it all out for him right then and there, but I clammed up. I'm not so good at eating my words, and after years and years of claiming, "I like babies, as long as they are other people's" I am partially hung up on having to do just that.

I know there is not perfect time to have a baby, but at this juncture of our lives, I couldn't feel it is more wrong: we live in a two bedroom apartment we are quickly outgrowing (w/o another human being taking up residence) and I am on the verge of enrolling in a graduate program where I work while my husband is switching jobs, again (that is a long story, ending with panic attacks and his hair falling out). We don't even have a washer and dryer, we are kicking it at the laundromat once a week.

I just wish the nagging feeling that something is missing would go away, but I am seriously starting to doubt if it will on its own.

'Tis the Season.

Back in November I set up some guidelines for Holiday season sanity, to refresh:


-No crying (at least not of the sad, we-have-no-money kind, tears of joy are allowed.)
-No stressing (aka no skipping the gym for this girl.)
-No present buying for anyone but the 'rents and the kids. Period. (I have a problem with gift giving...I enjoy it way too much.)

I can't say I haven't cried since this was posted, but I can say the times its happened has been because of my job/my own personal crap....so I guess that's a half-hearted success?

I may have given up on going to the gym where I work every night but I've been on the treadmill in our living room at least 3 times a week (and that will change to at least 5 times a week since I'm off work starting Monday til January 3rd...not my choice, but my employer's who is hemorrhaging money and cutting our budget with furlough) and I can tell it is keeping me balanced. Who knows, maybe I'll start 2011 5 pounds lighter....but I won't know, since we don't own a scale (because I would obsess every fluctuation) so I'll just have to pay attention to the way my pants fit. Which I already do that pretty obsessively anyways. Good times.

We definitely have only shopped for the kids and the parents. So good job us. Even if I am being a baby and am secretly really sad for no presents from the husband. They are always my favorite at Christmas time....but we have so many Christmas futures, and when I think about it that way, it is not a big deal. Just the fact that we get to spend so much time together this year is pretty awesome. And it probably won't happen again for a long time so I'll enjoy it while I can.

The husband is on his 3rd interview for one job, and is waiting on a call back for a teaching position he open interviewed for last night AND a friend of ours just emailed him about a possible opening at his work. There is a good chance he will have something by January, which would be a great way to start 2011.

Now, if the insane baby dreams would stop, I could have a freakin' Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year ('s Eve Party....New Year's Eve is my FAVORITE.)

Til Next time.

Day TwentySeven: Best.

I feel like the best thing going for me right now is the compilation of all the small things going well, considering our circumstances. Or perhaps my ability to accentuate the positive? Either way, here's a list of the good:

I have a job with decent benefits that is paying our bills. My family is amazing and the fact that tomorrow my oldest step-daughter will be seeing her sister for the first time in 3 years makes my heart swell. It won't be long until we get to spend time as a family of four again.

I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for. We recently pulled off a surprise benefit for one of the sweetest women I know who is battling cancer where we made over $6700. They keep me laughing and remind me of how important it is to let loose and have fun sometimes.

I've convinced myself exercise is something I just need to do each day, sort of like brushing my teeth in the morning and before bed. Just another part of the routine. This is already helping my mood, which usually takes a nose dive when it gets cold...and then another after Christmas, since its cold AND all the holiday crap is over and there isn't much to look forward to besides spring, which sometimes doesn't come until April or May. Since I've started now, I'll continue through the dead of winter and who knows maybe even drop a size or two in the process.

You see, its all good, if you look at things in the right way.

Holi-don'ts.

I have already began dreading the next two months. I feel like it starts earlier each year, with Christmas nonsense already filling shelves of every store I've entered since last Sunday, and the TV commercials constantly reminding us of the things to come: Day after Thanksgiving sales, BIG DEALS, consume, Consume, COOOOONNNNNSUMMMME!

We are on a very extremely tight budget this year. With the husband losing his job and I being required to take furlough (long story short: campus will be closed from the week before Christmas until the Monday after New Years and one day of pay each month will be taken off my paycheck until next june, hurrah.) things could get hairy but we have a pretty exact plan of action when it comes to present buying. Mostly, not buying anyone anything besides the girls, Baby M. (my niece) and our parents (ONLY if we can figure out frugal joint presents for each set).

I'm also refusing to become stressed about family obligations. Plain and simple. If the girls can't be there, it will make me sad but I won't get all worked up over it. I'm already expecting my brother to muck everything up, with his "surprise" visit or ever changing arrival date (he is known for both, and while I know he doesn't do it on purpose, it always messes up already planned things....and when he's in another country with the Army its one thing, but he's in South Carolina for Pete's sake!)

So to re-cap Holiday Season 2010 Don'ts:

-No crying (at least not of the sad, we-have-no-money kind, tears of joy are allowed.)
-No stressing (aka no skipping the gym for this girl.)
-No present buying for anyone but the 'rents and the kids. Period. (I have a problem with gift giving...I enjoy it way too much.)

Did I use parentheses enough in this post or what?

Facebook.

Facebook is the devil. I've been saying this for some time now, but recently it has really hit home. Why you ask? I'll tell you in this handy list:

-I know way too much about people I haven't seen in person in over 5 years. So and so got a new car? Awesome. Whatshisname just got hitched? Cool! (Actually, I don't give a shit.)
-Just when you think TMI has reached its highest level, someone else shares something no one needs to know.
-I've gotten more "wow I haven't seen you since high school, you look great!" than one person needs in a lifetime. Thank you, Random Person From High School, for reminding me of my awkward youth. Congrats on birthing multiple children, working at the same job you had back in the day and still living in our hometown. Keep on living the dream!
-People from college "who love their life and are SO blessed and lucky and about to go on their 15th vacation of the year and then create an album called Sweet Summertime with 150 pictures of them and their girls in bars and in bikinis blah blah blah" are driving my slowly insane. I'm all about being thankful, but can we say narcissistic? And seriously, where the hell are these people getting their money from?? Is there some secret underground money laundering going on that I am missing out on?

Why don't I leave the Facebook, you say? It's not that easy. I've contemplated this long and hard, and you can't just walk away from it. People will talk. Statuses will go un-updated. Birthday wishes will not be given! Invites will not be rsvp-ed to! No, when it all boils down, I'm a bit narcissistic myself, which is why I ended up with all these Random People From High School as "friends" online. I wanted to toot my own horn so to speak. Awkward youth be damned! I'm all grown up with a job and a hubby!

Is that so wrong? (yeah I know, I'm no better than Whasthername and her Summertime album...)

Pause.

Apartment Makeover has come to a standstill for various reasons:

1. I'm busy....like, reeeeeally busy for the next two months.

2. We are (like always) tight on money which isn't anything new, but its way easier to plan and execute when money is not a part of the equation.

3. I can't seem to decide what to do first...I keep jumping from room to room in my head and since I can't choose where to start, I choose to not start anything. (Lame I know)

4. I want to do the (awful) task of re-organizing our filing system for bills/mail before I do anything else, but I can't seem to force myself into doing so. This, in turn, effects our "land strip" area which would make me SO happy to clear out the clutter from. It is the first place I see when I get home and the last place I look when I leave..but still hasn't happened. Le sigh.

5. I've been feeling pretty.......overwhelmed by my own life choices lately*. Which is awful timing, since I'm so busy with two amazing and happy milestones of two amazing ladies in my life. This past weekend has proved I can at least push all my BS to the side when it counts the most since both showers were a hit (I had bridal on Saturday for bff and baby on Sunday for my best (only) sister. I am so ridiculously happy for both of them....I can't wait for wedding day for bff and birth day for sister.

I can't decide what is the best option to fix my job/career/go back to school dilemma, so much like choosing a starting point for redecorating the apartment, I choose to do nothing**. Which doesn't help me at all. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in this absolutely crap (besides the pay) job.

I've been channeling this mantra lately, along with plotting to buy a large print of it as soon as possible:
Cause, really, what else am I supposed to do?

*Strictly job/career related. My Husband is the one thing I know I chose correctly in life.
**Besides frantically search, on an almost daily basis, for another job I'm qualified for which pays about the same as what I'm making now. I've discovered I'm overpaid for my qualifications, or at least that's how it looks to me.

In the Mean Time.

(the in-between time)

I've decided to inventory all the positives of my job (yes, again. I know I've done this at least once before) in an effort to remind myself I'm lucky to have this thing I call my job.

1. I'm salaried and I'm paid well. If we hadn't dug ourselves into the financial situation we have, we could be living comfortably and saving a lot more each month, but alas, we still make ends meet, somehow.
2. Even when I'm late, I'm here before the rest of my "office" (clarification: my Office consists of me, a co-worker, the assistant director of the department and the director of the department. Oh and I have a student employee.)
3. They gave me a student employee. Some would see this as a negative, but she is very nice so it works out.
4. Due to the composition of my office, there is not the never ending stream of birthday/celebratory carry-ins that plague professional offices all over the country. My waistline thanks me for my choice of employment: in a very small department, with three middle aged men, none of which celebrate Western-cultural holidays.
5. Flexibility on time off.
6. A ridiculous amount of research time. RIDICULOUS.
7. I'm in my own space, so I don't have to listen to them talk to their families/friends on their cell phones in their native language like I'm at one of those nail places at the mall. Plus I can listen to music.

On paper, it doesn't sound half bad does it? Well when you spend years dreaming of this completely intangible job where you change the world and you love getting up each and every morning to do said job, it sort of takes away your will to live...or to at least dream anymore.

In my defense, the actual work I do is so mundane plus it includes any and all secretarial/receptionist type work (including travel planning, and ALL fiscal matters)which is more than a little demeaning in a office full of men. Hire an administrative assistant: I didn't go to college to make your copies.

All in all, I could be doing a lot worse, but I'm still not happy. Damn me and my overachieving nature. It has left me always yearning for something more.

Day One..sorta.

I had this wonderful plan to blog every day for a year just to see if I could do it, beginning yesterday, and here I am, starting one day late! Oh well. I have goals just like a bazillion people/blogs but I don't really feel like announcing them all in a tidy little list, because I know myself and I know I usually over do things, including goals. So for now, my goal is to blog once a day for 365 days, about my life or things I think about while moving through it.

Woo.

Happy New Year.

TGIF

No, this isn't a post about abc's friday night line up from the 1990's (sorry to disappoint). It is my weekly list of random things I'm thankful for:

1. Veterans. My dad, brother, all three of my Uncles and both my grandfathers are/were soldiers. Patriotism is in my blood...even if I choose to support the soldiers but not the wars.
2. My little apartment. We don't have a yard, or even a deck, but we have someplace to call home. Plus living above a business lets us avoid expensive natural gas bills in the winter: we still haven't turned on the furnace and we probably won't. Yay for Amish installed insulation! (says the landlord)
3. The heater that came with my job. Without it, I would have to wear a snow suit to work because they also are avoiding turning on the heat at my work, however, I don't think they have good insulation, let alone, Amish installed.

Happy Freakin' Friday.

tgif.

I need this more than ever today.... So here are some things I'm thankful for:

1. Coffee. I don't drink much in the warmer months, but through the Ohio Fall/Winter, it is a must in the mornings.
2. Journey's Don't Stop Believing. It makes me happy.
3. I'm only 25. Although I feel a lot older some days lately, I still have a lot of time to get things right in life (ie: find a job I love and finish my Master's)

What random things are you thankful for today?

TGIF

People are always "thanking God" its Friday. While I don't adhere to any belief system, I am still thankful for certain things in life:


1. The inventor of those nifty sponge scrub thingys you put soap in. When you don't have an automatic dishwasher, these are awesome.
2. Smell of Autumn....even on the rainy days like today (in the OH at least)
3. Second (and third, fourth and fifth) chances and the people who give me them.


So what are you thanking whatever omnipotent being you believe in (or lack thereof) for today....besides today? I want to try and start making this a weekly thing....to reinforce the positive and start the weekend right. So comment with your "thankful list" and humor me :)

Crash and Burn.

Hell hath no fury like an (about to be married) woman's scorn.

Fiancé and I had words last night regarding our guest list issues. They were not pleasant words and there were probably more tears (on my part) than words at one point. I'm not going to give the play by play because it was a very stupid argument and it wasn't really resolved, besides me saying, "well that didn't fix anything so we might as well call a truce" (this was when I reached over and shook his hand as we laid in bed and he laughed at me). I'm trying not to stew about it, but it is very hard since I'm on wedding-mode just about 24/7 at this point. Which is what I blame for the argument. I'm very extreme with my emotions right now...very very happy or very very not.

I have a to-do list with more things that cost money than things that do not, until last night the list was comforting, but today it feels like the bane of my existence. Okay, its not that bad...I just want to get everything taken care of in the next week or two so I can have some major chill out time the two weeks before the wedding.

The Dress Shop still hasn't called. Last week when I talked to them, they said my dress should be in by "early next week". Well its Friday of "next week" and they still haven't called to tell me it is in. They have until 2pm to call, and then I will be calling them to figure out what is going on with things.

Hopefully the next time I blog it will be to announce I have the damn dress in my possession.

Because Mondays Suck.

I'm sorry...was that blog title a bit negative? Maybe it's because my original wedding dress is being held hostage and I keep being told "how great I'm dealing w/things" well I'm about to crack, due to lack of sleep, "dealing w/things" and I general distaste for my job today.

My dear friend Tabatha tagged me for one of these, so I thought it would oblige, albeit a bit late.

8 Things I'm Looking Forward To:
1. Florida. In 48 days and counting.
2. The wedding crap to be taken care of.
3. The wedding dress crap to be sorted out.
4. Getting a massage the week before w-day from my massage therapist friend.
5. Going to bed at 9pm tonight.
6. Being married.
7. Going to the gym sometime today.
8. Seeing my brother in August.

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Visited with my dad for a bit.
2. Shopped from 11:30 to about 5:30 with my mom and sister for something for my mom to wear to the wedding. Didn't find anything.
3. Called back dress people and left ANOTHER voicemail.
4. Bought Kiddo's Wedding Day gift and had it engraved, its a snowglobe, she collects them.
5. Bought my sister's wedding party gift.
6. Hung out with Fiancé and Kiddo for a bit.
7. Watched the first Season of Sex and the City (I'd never seen it in its entirety)
8. Drove a lot.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:
1. Sing.
2. Dance.
3. Speak another language fluently.
4. Figure out what the hell I want to do as a career.
5. Finish my Master's...this one will happen, but its not going to be fun getting there at this point.
6. NOT worry incessantly about money.
7. Cook well and enjoy the process of doing so.
8. Write a book. I don't know if I have the patience.

8 Shows I Enjoy:
1. Friends
2. LOST
3. Grey's Anatomy
4. Three Sheets
5. Ghost Hunters (not International though)
6. Jon and Kate Plus Eight, its been my guilty pleasure since BEFORE it was cool to be a guilty pleasure.
7. Myth Busters
8. This is where I remind you I don't have cable.

8 Friends I'm Tagging
This doesn't work for me, but I am tagging my three readers who aren't the one who tagged me for this:
1. ali
2. mylittlebecky
3. Ashley

MIA

I have some explaining to do, dear readers (all 4 of you....holla!!)

You see, I've been sort of lax on the blogging as of late. Mostly because I feel a very strong urge to bitch and moan every time I go to post something and I don't want to be a downer so I choose not to share on those particular days. Which lately, seems to be....well Every. Stinking. Day.

I need to get it out...so out with it: (although I will try to see the silver lining and put a positive spin on things)

I am struggling with this mess of a wedding...one day I am ready to take charge and the next I want nothing to do with it. I made a "everything left to do" list yesterday and its not awful, although the "things needing done that don't cost money" section is v. small, just like our bank account balance which in this case, is v. bad news, since just about everything we have left to do requires purchasing things.

I started working on my Master's Project again early last month but seem to have lost steam on that once again. My current excuse is, "my advisor is out of the state on vacation until July 20, so I can't do much more w/o consulting her" which is really, a load of crap...well, yes she really is on vacay, but I could be doing a lot on my own, I just choose not to. I know I'll finish, I just keep putting it off.

All the while I am trying with all my might to not worry incessantly about money. It is a HUGE problem for me...even when we have money, I worry about expensive "what if's" that could pop up. So I try and remember how most people don't have enough right now...and we both still have jobs and a place to live and cars that run and we are in love and getting hitched and we are really lucky to have each other.

So make me feel better today, lovelies....what is your biggest worry as of today, July 1st 2009? Sharing is fun...and it might make you feel a little bit better as well.

Tue(do)sday

On this week's agenda:
-Spend quality time with Fiancé and enjoy each other's company.
-Tentative Corsage-assembly party has been scheduled for Saturday afternoon.
-Buy doubled sided tape (I keep thinking about assembling the centerpieces, but need tape first)
-Be as active as possible...more for stress management than for weight loss at this point. I really see a difference in my moods when I at least go for a walk on my lunch break or something.

I have to work this Saturday...so that is a huge bummer but I will either leave early Friday or come in late on Monday to even things out. Plus, NEXT week is only a four day week because of the Fourth. Plus my dress could possibly be in the week after the holiday weekend, so that is something to look forward to. I think I might actually get excited once it is here, but we'll have to wait and see.

Totally random: I had crazy Nazi Germany infused dreams last night. Probably since we watched Tom Cruise play "dissenter Nazi Tom Cruise" in Valkyrie. It was good, besides the fact that Tom Cruise was the star.

To-Doooooo.

We have roughly 2 1/2 months to go until W-Day and I still haven't felt that fire under my ass to finish everything early. I know it will happen, because I am perpetually early for everything in life (I was even born 2 weeks before my due date) and I don't want to be stressed, but right now there is a long list of excuses as to why I'm not super excited about/doing all things wedding related.

But let's not focus on that, let's focus on what I have accomplished in the past seven days:

-Invites have been mailed, and recieved by most people w/in a hour's drive of where we live.

I hope with all of my being, for the sake of my sanity, people mail the already postmarked and addressed RSVP cards back. This is one of my BIGGEST hang ups with all things wedding related. You are expected to spend all this money and time and sanity on invites and RSVP cards plus the postage for both says "etiquette" and then the self-righteous extended family "assumes" you know they are coming. OMGGGGG why would I send you a postmarked, addressed envelope if I didn't want the damn thing back?! HolyTapDancingChrist its not that hard to write your name on a piece of paper, stick it in an envelope and throw it in the mail!!!

Sorry about that. Back to accomplishments:

-Thank-you's for shower #1 have been mailed.
-I discovered Tibetian Prayer Flags just like these on Etsy are sold at a shop in town, so I can go and buy them if we have the monies days before the wedding.
-Fiancé and I had a lesson in arguing.

I guess the last one is not an accomplishment, but since we don't argue often, I feel like each time there is something new to learn and I will say, we talked it out a lot faster than usual and he was A LOT more vocal. Probably because we were in the car and he didn't have to look me in the eye. Bottom line is: we both need to be more respectful of the other.

We still need to figure out the rehearsal dinner menu and I need to procure undergarments for my dress....oh and we need to compile music a la Fiancé's parents music collection and figure out our catering (it's discussed here) if you can call it that :)

Plus some other stuff that I'll get to when I actually give a shit. For now, I'll continue on with my apathy.

Have a lovely, neutral day.

Crunch Time.

Here's a list about my current state of small accomplishments:

Wedding invites are stuffed, stamped, labeled and ready to go. I haven't mailed them yet, I'm waiting until Friday for some unknown reason.

I wrote out shower #1 thank-you cards last night and I'm going to mail them today.

I ordered three swim suits off the old interweb last week for the honeymoon and I'm patiently awaiting their arrival.

81 days to go. Should I be excited yet? I'm still notsomuch.

I FINALLY began revising my Master's Thesis last night and it wasn't scary or awful; it was actually refreshing to use my brain for something besides wedding nonsense or family worries.

After all the excitement with my supervisor telling me I could take time off to finish, and then mentioning funding my PhD, he went on vacation beginning the day I was supposed to report back to him about my meeting with my advisor. He hasn't even asked about it since he's been back, but this doesn't surprise me, and I'm still finishing by August anyways.

I'm still trying to grow a pair and call in for a mental health day from work....but it still hasn't happened, we'll see how I feel Friday morning.

ToDo Tuesday.

From last week:
-Go buy myself something to wear for my Shower coming up at the end of the month.
-Get MOH the few addresses I forgot to include as shower invite people...oops!
-Possibly schedule hair appointment, IF the money is there for such a thing right now. No money for this right now.
-Enjoy my new tattoo :)

For this week:
1. Take care of myself better. I haven't been feeling all that great lately. Not exactly sure why, but need to do better with taking care of myself.
2. Try and enjoy the craziness that has taken over my weekends lately. Soooo busy but so thankful for all the good things the busy stuff entails.
3. Figure out how we are going to print the wedding invites.

Later I'll post some awesome awkwardness to help keep Tabatha's Totally Awkward Tuesdays alive :)