Anytown, Ohio.

Caught this on my way through a downtown the yesterday.

Gone Fishing.

For real. We went fishing Sunday for a few hours. I caught one tiny guy. And this gorgeous view:

Yeah, I have a pink and purple fishing pole.

This Step-Mom's take.

Unless you live under a rock, you know Sunday is Mother's Day.

It's a weird day for me, being a part-time-parental-unit-type-person that I am.

My mother, being the amazing woman that she is, always gives me a card and a little something, because she knows all the motherly type things I do for the girls. On the flip side, my husband, being.....my sometimes dense but oh so lovable husband, doesn't do squat. I'm okay with both these things.

I am not a mother. I'm the wife of a father.

Sometimes I do get the inkling I know what it feels like to be "mom". Those moments when Little One sits on my lap and absentmindedly holds my hand and sort of pets it, or when the Kiddo says something so poignant and wise beyond her years. My heart swells for a moment and I think, thank you, who ever/what ever/the universe for bringing these girls to me.

But, alas, those moments are fleeting; I'm snapped right back into place with exchanges such as this one, last weekend in the car:

Little One: "Daddy I need a drink of water please."

(Husband was driving, so I grabbed the bottle of water and handed it back to her)

Little One: (not missing a beat) "Uhh, I asked my Daddy for some water, not you."

Step-Mom Me: "Well, Little One, (I actually busted out her full name, which neither of us exactly like in the first place so we usually call her by a shortened version the husband came up with shortly after her birth) Daddy is driving, so that's why I'm getting it for you and you can ask me for it next time."

Tiny reminders of how I'm not mom. How he is always preferred by the girls to me, with good reason, no doubt, but still it stings a bit.

I read an article on CNN about one step-mother's anguish about not having the relationship with her step-daughter that she thought she should. And how Mother's Day is so hard for her. (I'm not linking to said article because I honestly don't like how it was written or what she had to say.)

I don't see it like that. I don't have any expectations when it comes to my relationship with the girls. I just let it be what it is. I don't try and make it something its not; I'm not trying to be their best friend nor am I trying to be their mother. I do try my very hardest to be a good example; a positive female role model. I try to show them there are many ways to look at things and how being different from others is quite alright.

I am happy to have a front row seat to their lives, with a smidge of influence on who they will become.

So Sunday, as my step-daughters are giving their mothers handmade cards and probably little gifts made at school, I'll be quietly thankful I get to be part of their existence.

And that fact alone is enough for me.

Kiddo and I, at an amusement park last Summer.

Little One and I, December 2010

Newbies.

Speaking of four-eyes here's my highly anticipated $30 internet special spectacles:

They are nerdy as all hell. And I love them. (blame the crapastic quality on the shitty overhead lighting I sit under all day at work.)

The last time I purchased new glasses was 2007. And they cost around $200 out of pocket. So I wasn't expecting these to be all that cute, but I think I lurve them. If you have never worn glasses, getting new ones is similar to getting a new hair do: when its good, you are really happy.

Now I just need a cut and color in the worst way (and an eyebrow wax to boot) and my head will be ready for wedding season 2011.

Fleeting.

I caught this pretty on my lunch break today. I was truly thankful for such a gorgeous view, mostly because it has rained for what seems like 3 weeks now.

Shred.

Yesterday I did Day One Level One of Jillian Micheals 30 Day Shred. Right now, approx. 15 hours post workout, I can feel it in my biceps, abs and thighs. I'm positive tomorrow will bring the all over aches. I really liked it, although I got so hot I almost threw up, but every time it got bad, it would switch into recovery. I really like how just when you think you can't do a move any more, you are done with it and move on to something else.

Before beginning, I did something I have never done before: took pictures of myself with my stomach showing. They will only see the light of day if on Day 30 I take new ones, and there is visible improvement. While trying to capture my back side I did get this, which isn't too offensive and almost artsy-fartsy. And I wasn't even trying:

There I am from behind, tramp stamp and all. Thank you, iPhone, for not taking super high definition photos. And even though Jillian Michaels pretty much annoys the crap out of me, that is exactly what I need right now. I need something to push me.

A Change Would Do You Good.

I like to pretend I'll commit to new projects, and be consistent. Then I'm not.

The 40DaysMovement project sort of fell through, although I am starting the 30 Day Shred video today after work, and I'm excited to do so. I need a kick in the ass, and I know annoyingly fit Jillian Micheals will do it for me.

I want to try to resurrect the Snapshots project though, especially with all the stuff coming up for us. We'll see how that goes.

Oh well, call me a bad blogger, if you will. I do always come back, eventually, making up excuses (mostly for myself) about why I, once again, failed to stay consistent at posting. Or exercising. Or much of anything. Oh well. I'm going to forgive myself this time, and not dwell.

Besides, I mostly write this blog for my own little documentary purposes, even if they are meager at best. So I'm really only letting myself down.

Anyway.

Crazy-exciting news. We are moving. As of June 1 we will no longer be in our hippish-small town, but in Surburbia. I will miss our little town, but the 'burbs have their perks, both in the physical space we call home, and in a more general, accessibility of things. It is a ranch style duplex-condo-apartment-half house type of dealy. (I don't like the word "duplex" so I'm having trouble naming it.) It is one building, with two units. The landlord lives next door, and she is pretty cool, and we tend to keep quiet these days anyway.

The new place perks:
One story aka: no more 21 steps of death.
Garage. YAY.
Washer/dryer hookups meaning no more laundry mat.
Utility room. No more cat box in the ONE storage closet we have.
Side patio
Backyard
Ceiling fan in living room
Coat closet in living room ie: for shoes, coats and board games. (yay storage.)
Gas range, I grew up with one, and prefer it to electric.
1.5 baths, which is FANTASTIC since I have a husband who enjoys camping out in the bathroom sometimes, if you know what I'm saying.
3 bedrooms ( More STORAGE!)
Attic above the Garage...did I mention I'm really excited about the Storage?

I am now realizing we have basically be living with all of our crap in plain sight since we moved into together. Neither place we've lived has had ample storage. The amount of storage in this place is making me giddy. I thrive on a tidy home, and being able to store the less visually appealing things we own makes me so very happy.

Let's say it one more time: STOOOOORRRRRAGE! Yay.

This is place is literally within walking distance to the husband's work, a fishing pond and a huge playground. It is also a 5 minute drive to some really great friends. Target and Kroger's are right down the road.

I think it will be a great change for everyone, even the girls. We discussed the fact that the move puts more distance between them and us. The husband pointed out the way things are with both of them, being 1 hour away is no different than being one town away; we are (sadly) not included in their lives with their mothers and their maternal families. So he is 100% alright with us being closer to my hometown than his and subsequently, further from the girls as well.

New half casa, in iPhone photos (nothing exciting, since it's just empty rooms, but pics nonetheless):

Living Room, from front door, with husband in doorway to kitchen

Kitchen, side door to patio is left of Fridge, Hallway right of oven, Utility Rm right of Hallway

Full Bath, from main entry (one of the lights is out, hence the super bad lighting)

View standing in Master, looking through the half bath into the full (there are pocket doors)

The packing has began. And I have some plans to document the move. Good things to come!

Love.

It is my husband's birthday today.

I'm pretty happy he was born on this date 29 years ago.

At the same time, can't believe I have husband. Who is 29. That is almost 30. Gah.

I've written quite a lot about how he levels me out....he is like yoga and I am like crazy bootcamp aerobics.

Plus we take amazing photos together....

Happy, Happy Birthday, Husband, you are my everything and always.

La Familia.

This is why I can't help but want to procreate with this man. Moments like this.

I should probably ask him about it....

Weekend Adventures.

The weekend went by in a flash, just like always. I did manage to enjoy some adult beverages Friday night and not feel like death Saturday morning. Not sure how that happened, but I'm hoping to duplicate the results again sometime. Then I got an IPhone 4 Saturday. I think I'm in love. Plus I keep telling the husband it will make my lonely weeknights less lonely. And then Sunday I roadtripped to visit the fam and captured this adorableness in the process:

This little lady is crawling now. Soon she'll be going to Prom.

On my way home I stopped and visited with my Grandma. I'm not sure if I have ever talked about my elderly apprehension on here before, but until Sunday I had never visited my grandma by myself. Ever. She made me uncomfortable; my entire childhood she wasn't the most grandmotherly type towards me. I won't go into details, but it sort of made me weird about older people. Until now. She talked my ear off, and I would have stayed longer, if it hadn't been 7:00 on a Sunday night.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted, and I can't wait to visit with her again. It was an altogether great weekend.

True?

coaster wisdom a la my favorite sister.

A photo a day....

...gives me something to do in my spare time.

I will admit this one was not taken today, but over this past weekend but it is too cute to NOT share and to kick off a new project:

Sharing secrets on the windowsill.

Plus I'm pretty sure my husband took this. Oh well, from now on, they will be from my pov. And although my way too short for the windows curtains make this picture work, I need to get on that still. Le sigh.

Anyway.

I am going to start carrying my camera with me all the time in an attempt to capture a snapshot from my days. I probably won't upload them every day, but maybe three or four times a week, but I'll try to have a couple pictures each time. And they probably won't be anything fancy, but I need a new hobby (besides reading, it will always be my first hobby-love, but I want something new).

Wee, fun times.