I haven't really had the motivation to post anything on here in a bit. Wedding planning is going pretty steady...I even went and tried on dresses last night. The blurry as hell one was my favorite but the dress was a size too small and quite snug since they don't carry every dress in every size; you have to order it. We weren't supposed to take pictures at all, but we found this out after taking the other two of the first one I tried on (and later vetoed because that bitch was heavy and the train was too much) which was also a size too small. It wasn't as fun as I imagined but I really do love my sister for helping me in and out of them...I wasn't up for a total stranger seeing me just about naked. Hopefully the next place we go Saturday will do me the same service by letting someone I know help me. We are thinking they may have more of things that will fit me as well. We'll see.

I'm very unhappy at the moment because I have finally figured out exactly how much money I owe in student loans and it is RIDICULOUS. I'm talking sent me into hysterical crying, I almost threw up and then almost passed out ridiculous. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid even if I can consolidate them, that the monthly payment is going to be so high we won't be able to be comfortable, let alone pay for the wedding. I'm never going to be able to afford a new car and we'll probably never be able to buy a house in the town we want to. Being grown up sucks.

All the craptasticness (there's a gem of a made up word) of my financial woes....today was a very awesome day that I will remember as long as I live. I watched for the first time, an African-American become our 44th president. Not only that, I watched with pride for my country and hope for a better tomorrow, not just in the United States, but for the entire world.

Hopefully tomorrow I can put on my big girl panties and face the massive amount of debt I have, but for now, I'm freaking out.

The end.

History

I have not felt pride for my country in a very long time. I've felt disappointment, anger, sadness, disbelief and a slew of other negative feelings over the past 8 years. I even felt ashamed on certain occasions, but last night, I have never been more proud to have been born and raised in Suburban Ohio in this great nation. For once, the country has learned from her mistakes and done something about it. For once, we have shown the world we are as equal as we say we are. For the first time in years, I am actually optimistic that this country will become known once again for the great things she does opposed to the heinous and that we will lead by example to bring real change all over the globe.

So, twenty years from now, when asked where I was the night the first African-American, Senator Barack Obama, became president, I will vividly remember the feeling of sitting on my couch, drinking a beer and feeling elation about the state of my country. Mostly because this is the first time that has ever happened but also because I am SO proud to be an American for the first time in my adult life.

This was a victory for so many people....not only African Americans, but women too. With a VP candidate like Sarah Palin, I was pretty freaked out about the possibility of her making it to the White House, and then, being second in command behind an old guy (okay, I'll admit it, she scared me more than a politician ever has). The woman actually makes rape victims pay for their rape kits in Alaska and wants to make abortion illegal, even if the incident producing the child was incest and/or the victim was raped. She donated volunteer pilots so Alaskans could aerial hunt wolves and then, rewarded them with some ridiculous amount of money (I read 18,000...but I this isn't confirmed) for every fresh left leg from the animal they brought in. That is what Governor Palin is doing with Alaska's money? Can you imagine what would have happened if she made it to the White House? Thankfully, we don't even have to think about the possibilities anymore.

The middle class also had a major victory. Barack Obama spoke to us and we listened. He wants to provide tax cuts to the middle class (news flash: THATS THE MAJORITY OF AMERICAN CITIZENS!) and tax the wealthiest 5% who have been receiving breaks for the past 8 years from the Bush Administration. That speaks for itself.

I'm excited about the future of this country. We did it! Change is inevitable, and now since we have the right leadership, the right changes can be made.