goodmorning.

(note: Kiddo= bf's oldest child, Litte One=bf's youngest child, bf=boyfriend, duh!)

What a weekend. I was in crap mood Friday to early Saturday morning...and I was worried I couldn't shake it, but once we got to Kiddo's basketball game around 9:30 things were looking better. I really do love the kid...she is such a good one. Once we got to bf's 'rents I got to play with bf's nephew. He is by far, the happiest baby I have ever met. He actually makes the thought of having a baby of my own something I wouldn't mind doing, but I constantly remind myself of two things: they aren't all this great and they don't stay little forever....although I used to despise kids Kiddo's age before I met bf...but now I pretty much adore her....

So after OSU beats Michigan, bf's 'rents decide to put the Christmas tree up and let the grandkids go to town. They really did a good job, with some help putting things up higher. It was just a great day all around.

bf and I stayed in the guest house behind his 'rents house...and discovered a trunk of old pictures. There were a bunch from bf's childhood as well as from right after Kiddo was born, which I had never seen. Although there was a certain person in most of them (her mom obviously) I didn't even care. He made a big deal about it...apologizing for me having to see them together in pictures, which was cute, but at the same time, I think he STILL hasn't realized how much I am unlike any girl from his past. So that was a fun walk down memory lane for him and pretty entertaining for me as well, to see a lot of pictures from when he was little.

Sunday was a 180 turn from the awesomeness of Saturday. Bf woke up with a sore/swollen throat, which freaked me out because I first thought: allergic reaction, what if he can't breathe? Once we ruled that out because he didn't eat anything weird the day before, his sister (she's a medical assistant) took a look at it and said it was probably just the beginnings of an infection and we decided it would be best to find an Urgent Care and get a Rx to clear it up asap.

First thought for bf was to call Kiddo's mom to arrange dropping her off earlier than previously planned. He didn't like having to cut his weekend short with Kiddo, but he was willing to give up the time to keep her from being sick so it seemed like the logical answer to us. She, however, did not agree and railed on him about how he needs to be a parent and said things like "what do you think I do when I'm sick?" When he told me she said that, all I could think is, um, you call your parents (side note: Kiddo spends AT LEAST two nights a week, every week, with her maternal grandparents, not that she shouldn't spend time with them, but she doesn't even see her dad that often) or us so you don't get your kid sick.

So bf says, okay, no big deal, Kiddo can hang at his 'rents for a couple hours, we'll run to an Urgent Care and then be back. Well, after this is decided, Kiddo's mom calls back saying "you need to take care of yourself, drop her off now, I'm taking her to Chuck E. Cheese". This is a reoccurring pattern with Kiddo's mom. If bf has a logical answer to a problem, she yells at him saying its wrong, stupid and that she won't do it, hangs up on him and then calls back 10 minutes later basically claiming the idea as her own. Everything has to be on her terms or she wants nothing to do with it.

Something must have clicked inside bf because he calmly refused Kiddo's mom's new plan saying we had already worked it out and Kiddo will come home at the previously arranged time. In the past, he would have just gone along with whatever she said to avoid more fighting but I think he's finally had enough. So, insanity ensues with mass amounts of calls and hang ups to bf's cell phone, and then she starts calling bf's 'rents land line, threatening to call for a police escort to come get Kiddo right now. She was screaming at him so loud, I could hear entire words across the room, without her being on speaker phone, over top the kids making noise and the TV.

So long story short, (I know TOO LATE, right?) we leave for Urgent Care and right after bf goes back to see a doctor, his mom calls to let us know Kiddo has been picked up by her mom. She said Kiddo's mom gave an awesome crying performance which halted abruptly when she got in her car outside. This was after after she tried to basically drag Kiddo out the front door without her coat on and without Kiddo getting to say a proper goodbye to her paternal grandparents because she was in such a hurry. That's GREAT parenting. This is the same woman who earlier told bf to tell Kiddo she is grounded if she didn't talk to her right then on the phone (Kiddo was upset because she thought she had to go home a lot earlier than originally planned and was crying and didn't want to talk on the phone).

After I tell bf I talked to his mom, he concludes we are going to have to go to court once Little One's court stuff is finalized to get a better plan in place. Right now, Kiddo's mom gets court ordered support for her, but the visitation schedule is not court ordered because they agreed to both be flexible. Obviously that is not the case anymore.

It just really busts my balls how a woman can do this to her child out of spite and hatred for an ex. ESPECIALLY when this woman is engaged to be married to another man with whom she lives and has a 12 month old. Its effing ridiculous.

So overall, I am quite proud of bf for standing his ground, but obviously that doesn't do any good. I just hope Kiddo is okay...she deals with way more emotionally than any 6 year old should ever have to and since her mother obviously can't see the damage she is doing, some female in her life needs to take notice and worry, and it looks like that female is me.

I pick my battles...

So yesterday...my lovely bf (of almost three years) basically told me his band is more important than our wedding date....this is the man who wants to buy a house with me...who lets me help him pay his bills, and let me help him buy his car. And it may have been me misinterpreting things, but this is (basically) how it went:

me: "so I looked up OSU's schedule for next fall (yes, I am being kind enough to schedule around OSU football in order to have my wedding in the fall like I want) and they play New Mexico State on October 31 so I doubt it will be an 8pm game, so how do you feel about getting married on Halloween?"
him: "Halloween is a busy time for shows, and I don't want my anniversary that day because then I'll have to turn down shows because its my anniversary."
me: "The 31st isn't always going to be on a Saturday"
him: "well it will be once every seven years" (he said this being completely serious)
me: "so you'll have to turn down a show on Halloween once every seven years...so what?"
him: *ROLLS HIS EYES AT ME* and goes on to say something like, it just shouldn't be on any holiday because people have family stuff........all I can think is....most of the people at the wedding are going to be FAMILY. Plus I've never, ever had a family tradition on halloween, or even known a family to have one.

At this point, I say something along the lines of...I don't want to talk about this anymore because it doesn't even matter because we aren't even engaged. Plus he hurt my feelings but I didn't want him to know that. So I get real quiet and fight the tears and try and not be mad, because if I get mad, he won't feel bad, he'll just be frustrated and mad as well. And I'm way more hurt than mad anyways.
So I get online and I delete my offbeat bride tribe account...and the subscription to the Knot website as well (I didn't use that one much anyway....it overwhelmed me) and I am refusing to talk about it until there is a ring on my finger. I'm going to try my hardest not to think about it either. Then I volunteer to walk the movie we have out from the library back just to get away from him.

I will give him this: he works for a crappy company that is owned by really old, rich, republicans and they refuse to turn on the furnace until the end of November or something to save on money, and he spent the whole day freezing and said he felt like he was getting a cold. Plus a guy he works with, who had been there for 3 or 4 years got fired for financial reasons and that bummed everyone out. So I could have chose a better time when he was in a better mood to bring it up, but still....

If he brings up house buying again, I'm totally shutting him down on it. If we aren't in a financial place for him to be able to afford a ring, we have no business making such a huge investment. And just the fact that he doesn't seem to be making an effort to even go window shopping for them with me pisses me off. I've told him 4 or 5 times now, we need to go look and get an idea of price before anything else but I doubt he has ever heard me.

So I'm pretty sure he knows I'm upset. I cried a little when we went to bed and turned away from him and he rubbed my back without me asking (which he NEVER does).

I just wish he would hurry up and propose. I've definitely put in my time :)