Life Happenings.

My life in pictures as of late.

I'm still obsessed with my niece...seen here on Mother's Day....

Bff was a GORGEOUS bride who made lots of people cry many times on the 15th (myself included)...

I rocked the dress and had the skinniest day of my life (as seen above)....

Later I rocked it (quite literally) after many-a-drink from the open full bar...

The day after the wedding Kiddo got to meet her newest cousin...

Who we may see again this Sunday (most likely arriving like pictured above)

Yay for life.

God and Stuff.

I grew up Catholic. I went to mass every Sunday for the first 18 years of my life. I went to private Catholic school for the first 3 years and then I went to Monday evening religion classes until confirmation in the 8th grade. Ash Wednesdays I went to church at 6am before school and then walked around with a dirty forehead (until high school where I would rush to the closest bathroom to wash it off). Midnight Mass was just another part of our Christmas Eve.

Somewhere along the line I ended up in a Methodist youth group since all my friends attended. Then in college, as an Anthropology minor I sort of gave up on the whole religion thing, because really, scientifically, it doesn't make sense to me. The simple fact that many religious people believe the Earth is a mere 6000 years old and people lived to be hundreds of years old in biblical times kills me. There is scientific evidence of our Earth's long history and human lifespan is 120 max, and it was even shorter without western medicine.

But I digress....

I have been throwing around the idea of starting to go to mass again every week at the Catholic church in the small town I live in. To me there is something comforting about mass. It's weird I know, but I was recently at a Catholic wedding and I sort of miss being at church. I mean, more than half my life I went every week. It was just a part of things to me back then. I found it so amusing to NOT do anything on Sundays when I first moved out of my parents house, but now, I'm a bit older and I miss it. I like the excuse to wear a dress. Plus having to just sit and be still for 45 minutes of the week would probably not hurt me any.

Am I finding some old faith in a higher power that I lost somewhere along my way? Probably not. Does a lot of me wanting to go back have to do with my Niece (Baby M) needing at least one active Catholic godparent in order to be baptized in the church? A little. But I also feel like that is just giving me a push in the direction I was heading anyways.

I don't know how the Catholic Church will feel about my reasons for returning (I am also VERY curious to see how Catholic mass in a very liberal community I currently live in compares to what I experienced growing up) but isn't the whole Christianity (yeah, Catholics are Christians, just not all Christians are Catholics) thing about being forgiving and loving everyone? At least that is what I always thought....

People.

They are generally assholes, self-serving assholes. I know this to be fact, but I still let myself care too much and I let myself trust when really I should have known better.

I am cursed with my heart on my sleeve and a vain hope that people can change and people are good.

That's not how it really is and I know it. Hopefully, I will be wiser from this point on.

Niece( !! )

Lillian Lane Mullins Born at 4:28a on 4.28.10 Weighing in at 5 pounds 9 ounces and measuring 19 inches long.

First peek we had of her.

She looks a lot like my sister, its crazy.

So tiny!

It's too early to be up!

I was pretty much exstatic.

My mom was beaming.

She's so pretty.

I won't lie, I was half expecting My niece's birth to trigger my urge to reproduce, but no such thing has happened. I am completely in love with her....as my niece that I can spoil and cuddle and keep for weekends and bring presents. I'm exhausted, because I was up for about 30 hours and then slept for 4 and went back for another visit, then slept for 10 and here I am, but it was totally worth being there for it all. My sister is doing great and even though she was born at 36 weeks, to a type 1 diabetic 35 year old mom Lilly Bird is happy and healthy as a one day old baby can be. And I honestly never understood how people can say newborns look like anyone, because they are so tiny and old man looking, until now. This baby seriously looks like my sister, its crazy.

So my Step-Daughter's Birthday is April 27 and my Niece's Birthday is April 28. We are screwed when it comes to having money throughout the month of April from this point on :)

Words on Weddings.

Tomorrow is the opening day for my 2010 Wedding Season. It will be the first wedding I"ve attended since we got hitched back in August. Before I was married (and actually before I even met my husband) I discovered weddings make me cry. At least, when I know the people well, which is the case of EVERY wedding I have this year. I really hope I can keep my shit together at Bff's wedding in May, since you know, I'm the Matron (uggggghhhh I really don't like that word) of Honor and blubbering like a baby as the vows are being said would probably be mortifying. I'm thinking some respectful, joyous tears would be perfect, but we'll see how that goes.

I didn't cry nearly as much as anticipated at my own wedding. My eyes were dry as a bone when my husband and I did our pre-ceremony pictures (whereas he was quite surprisingly weeping...it was so endearing), I had one moment walking down the aisle, and a bit of a moment during my vows, but nothing major. I save those for other people's weddings I guess. Oh and once we were in Florida, the night after the wedding and I got on Facebook (we are nerds and don't leave home without our MacBook) and forgot I had changed my name on their the night of the wedding, I burst into tears, happy-yet-sad, exhausted tears.

Now, to make the husband dance with me or not tomorrow...that is the question :)

Baby. (NO I'm not prego)

My sister and I had a late blooming friendship that started when I was about 18 and she was 28. Back then, she was sometimes more like a second mom than a sister, but now that I am older, we are more like equals, although she still has that older sibling wisdom that comes in handy. (Plus she has worked for the children services branch of social work for over a decade, and that comes in handy from time to time as well, with my Maury Povich type baggage laden Husband. Bonus!)

Us at my Bachelorette, cheesin' it up.

That is the main reason I am borderline-crazy excited about the birth of her daughter (let's call her Baby M), plus I may not want my own, but babies sort of melt my heart. The fact that I am officially this little bebe's aunt adds to the excitement. I married in to 3 nephews and a neice, and although I adore all of them, its slightly different this time, because ITS MY SEEEESTER!

At her work shower, she was about 6 1/2 months here

Yesterday I went down for a visit. They have gotten the room all ready for Baby M. and also renovated their bathroom and I needed to see both, along with Sister's growing belly. I had also been collecting random things since March to give her, since I can't help myself when it comes to baby clothes/accessories. Magnify that by it being my sister and I'm pretty much constantly buying something for the not-even-born-yet child. There's a good chance she may end up being the only from-birth grandchild for both sets of her grandparents. (I say from birth, since my mom has already taken to buying Kiddo and Little One gifts whenever appropriate plus random things whenever she feels like it.) Needless to say, Baby M. will not want for anything, but I know she won't be spoiled rotten either, at least not from my sister and brother-in-law, they are both going to be awesome parents. Me? I'm going to cuddle her, buy her things, even babysit occassionally and when she's older, keep her on weekends and then give her back til next time. I made one small change to Baby M's room:

There was a random dress hanging where the best onesie ever now resides, a close up:

At least I hope she will. Only a few more weeks til she's here. Plus I'll be conveniently in my hometown for my bff's wedding around the time Sister thinks they are going to induce her, if Baby M doesn't decide its time to meet the world before then. Life is pretty unpredictable, so either way, I'll be meeting my new lil neice real soon. Who's ridiculously excited about this fact? That would be me :)

What day is it?

Life goes on. I keep going. There are a million and a half things going on for me right now. I've stopped caring when I can't remember what day it is right away in the morning time. If its still dark out and the alarm is going off, it means get out of bed and exercise. If I wake up on my own to pee, its probably about 7:30 and I forgot to turn on said alarm or its the weekend and its time to go back to sleep. If the sun is shining through my windows, its probably the weekend, which means I need to get up at some point and exercise before I do anything else.

I went to Chicago for work. It was fun times. It has also added to my confusion and made it painful to come back to work, but whatever.

Operation fit into dress is in full swing. I got real worried this morning (I'm having a I-feel-like-a-beached-whale-I'm-so-fat day, so that doesn't help) but I'm going to calm myself by calling the alteration place that did my wedding dress and see when I could bring it by, just in case there is something to be done to give me some wiggle room.

My niece should be here the day before my bff gets married. Which means I probably won't be there at the hospital, but I will get to go visit Sunday before going back home. I am still buying adorable tiny things for her. I love her already, and I haven't even met her.

I could not be happier for all these life changing events going on with people I hold so dear. Summer will be even sweeter this year though, because I'll have some serious down time starting Memorial Day weekend.