25 was a rough birthday. My 25th year was rough. Here's to a much better 26th.
***
Monday, September 20, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Epic.
The first Monday of my husband's unemployment we were at a county courthouse, filled with anxiety that had been building over the course of the last two years. His youngest child's mother and grandfather were also there. This woman, who has caused my husband all this strife saw me and gave a small smile and in that second, I decided to return the favor. Now, I'm not trying to take credit for how unbelievably well things went, but I don't think my presence and playing nice hurt a thing. I think it was good for husband I was there, and I feel a thousand times better about everything since I got to tell her myself how I have nothing but the best intentions for Little One. I even showed them a couple pictures of Kiddo as well.
Yes, she is crazy and hasn't told Little One this man she married, moved them out of state with and is now divorcing is NOT her dad yet (and they have been separated since November of last year) but a court ordered visitation schedule is in place (we should have a copy by next week via snail mail) and he is going to see her for the first time in almost 3 years next week. That makes me cry a little, both from happiness that things are finally back on the right track and sadness for the time they have both lost.
Husband and Little One, the last time he saw her, September 2007
Yes, she is crazy and hasn't told Little One this man she married, moved them out of state with and is now divorcing is NOT her dad yet (and they have been separated since November of last year) but a court ordered visitation schedule is in place (we should have a copy by next week via snail mail) and he is going to see her for the first time in almost 3 years next week. That makes me cry a little, both from happiness that things are finally back on the right track and sadness for the time they have both lost.
Husband and Little One, the last time he saw her, September 2007Sunday, August 29, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Facebook.
Facebook is the devil. I've been saying this for some time now, but recently it has really hit home. Why you ask? I'll tell you in this handy list:
-I know way too much about people I haven't seen in person in over 5 years. So and so got a new car? Awesome. Whatshisname just got hitched? Cool! (Actually, I don't give a shit.)
-Just when you think TMI has reached its highest level, someone else shares something no one needs to know.
-I've gotten more "wow I haven't seen you since high school, you look great!" than one person needs in a lifetime. Thank you, Random Person From High School, for reminding me of my awkward youth. Congrats on birthing multiple children, working at the same job you had back in the day and still living in our hometown. Keep on living the dream!
-People from college "who love their life and are SO blessed and lucky and about to go on their 15th vacation of the year and then create an album called Sweet Summertime with 150 pictures of them and their girls in bars and in bikinis blah blah blah" are driving my slowly insane. I'm all about being thankful, but can we say narcissistic? And seriously, where the hell are these people getting their money from?? Is there some secret underground money laundering going on that I am missing out on?
Why don't I leave the Facebook, you say? It's not that easy. I've contemplated this long and hard, and you can't just walk away from it. People will talk. Statuses will go un-updated. Birthday wishes will not be given! Invites will not be rsvp-ed to! No, when it all boils down, I'm a bit narcissistic myself, which is why I ended up with all these Random People From High School as "friends" online. I wanted to toot my own horn so to speak. Awkward youth be damned! I'm all grown up with a job and a hubby!
Is that so wrong? (yeah I know, I'm no better than Whasthername and her Summertime album...)
-I know way too much about people I haven't seen in person in over 5 years. So and so got a new car? Awesome. Whatshisname just got hitched? Cool! (Actually, I don't give a shit.)
-Just when you think TMI has reached its highest level, someone else shares something no one needs to know.
-I've gotten more "wow I haven't seen you since high school, you look great!" than one person needs in a lifetime. Thank you, Random Person From High School, for reminding me of my awkward youth. Congrats on birthing multiple children, working at the same job you had back in the day and still living in our hometown. Keep on living the dream!
-People from college "who love their life and are SO blessed and lucky and about to go on their 15th vacation of the year and then create an album called Sweet Summertime with 150 pictures of them and their girls in bars and in bikinis blah blah blah" are driving my slowly insane. I'm all about being thankful, but can we say narcissistic? And seriously, where the hell are these people getting their money from?? Is there some secret underground money laundering going on that I am missing out on?
Why don't I leave the Facebook, you say? It's not that easy. I've contemplated this long and hard, and you can't just walk away from it. People will talk. Statuses will go un-updated. Birthday wishes will not be given! Invites will not be rsvp-ed to! No, when it all boils down, I'm a bit narcissistic myself, which is why I ended up with all these Random People From High School as "friends" online. I wanted to toot my own horn so to speak. Awkward youth be damned! I'm all grown up with a job and a hubby!
Is that so wrong? (yeah I know, I'm no better than Whasthername and her Summertime album...)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Seriously?
People I don't know in real life read this poor excuse for a blog? Really?
Wow, that sort of made my morning....so thanks to whoever from where ever that has ever stumbled upon my page. And a preemptive thanks to those who may do so in the future.
I love you long time. (Even if the main purpose of this thing is borderline selfish and just a place for me to vent and be random, thanks for reading).
Wow, that sort of made my morning....so thanks to whoever from where ever that has ever stumbled upon my page. And a preemptive thanks to those who may do so in the future.
I love you long time. (Even if the main purpose of this thing is borderline selfish and just a place for me to vent and be random, thanks for reading).
Monday, August 23, 2010
One Year.
A year ago I was in the home stretch week before my wedding. I was ready to be married and even more ready to be in Florida for the honeymoon. Life was good and that week in Florida was spectacular.
So much can happen in a year. So much to make you realize what marriage is really all about.
Since I've became a wife I've also became a stepmother, an aunt and a godmother. Also a person who is capable of caring for a baby for extended lengths of time (I hadn't ever been alone with a baby for longer than a few hours before). I've become that married woman who doesn't want her own babies and I'm okay with it, even though society tends to freak out whenever it comes up. I'm learning how to bite my tongue occasionally and just be supportive but also how to ask him for help when I need it. I've learned how the dishes are not a valid reason to be angry, ever.
In 3 weeks I'll become the solitary earner in our household. To me, this is the scariest scenario to date. Just when I had finally gotten to a place where our finances were not a constant on my mind worry, his company decides to downsize the graphics department and relocate it to an office an hour and half away. Yes, he'll file for unemployment and yes, I'm sure he'll get it, but it is only a percentage and then there's Kiddo's child support to pay and the court date for Little One is the Monday after his last day of work, which we are responsible for the court fees. And Christmas will be impossible and the possibility of not being able to stay afloat which is very real makes my chest tighten and my eyes water and the room spins and I don't even know where to start or what to do to make this better.
***
I have a job interview tomorrow. The money is better, the job similar to what I do now but (hopefully) with less of the BS. If it goes well and a job offer comes of it, I'm taking it and we'll be moving shortly after once again. There are more jobs in Columbus for Husband to pursue and as much as I LOVE where we live now, driving one hour both ways to work every day isn't very appealing. Things are bad, but could be worse, right? Right.
So much can happen in a year. So much to make you realize what marriage is really all about.
Since I've became a wife I've also became a stepmother, an aunt and a godmother. Also a person who is capable of caring for a baby for extended lengths of time (I hadn't ever been alone with a baby for longer than a few hours before). I've become that married woman who doesn't want her own babies and I'm okay with it, even though society tends to freak out whenever it comes up. I'm learning how to bite my tongue occasionally and just be supportive but also how to ask him for help when I need it. I've learned how the dishes are not a valid reason to be angry, ever.
In 3 weeks I'll become the solitary earner in our household. To me, this is the scariest scenario to date. Just when I had finally gotten to a place where our finances were not a constant on my mind worry, his company decides to downsize the graphics department and relocate it to an office an hour and half away. Yes, he'll file for unemployment and yes, I'm sure he'll get it, but it is only a percentage and then there's Kiddo's child support to pay and the court date for Little One is the Monday after his last day of work, which we are responsible for the court fees. And Christmas will be impossible and the possibility of not being able to stay afloat which is very real makes my chest tighten and my eyes water and the room spins and I don't even know where to start or what to do to make this better.
***
I have a job interview tomorrow. The money is better, the job similar to what I do now but (hopefully) with less of the BS. If it goes well and a job offer comes of it, I'm taking it and we'll be moving shortly after once again. There are more jobs in Columbus for Husband to pursue and as much as I LOVE where we live now, driving one hour both ways to work every day isn't very appealing. Things are bad, but could be worse, right? Right.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Just call us Gypsies.
I have dedicated some serious time in the very recent past to google maps. Why you ask? I'm trying to map out the best place between work(not my current place, but the state capital where a majority of Ohio's jobs are right now, where I may or may not have interviews in the next month, stay tuned), Kiddo and Little One (who live approximately an hour apart) and our families (which is hard since I'm from 30 miles north of Cincy and he's from 30 minutes west of Columbus).
There is no place that is a neutral good in-between place for us to be.
Right now, we are 30 minutes from Kiddo, 45 minutes from my parents, 1 hour from my niece, 1 hour 20 min from my in-laws and 1 hour and 45 minutes from Little One.
The closer we go towards the kids and his parents, the farther we become from mine. I have come to accept this, but it doesn't make the idea of being even farther away from them any easier....especially since I've become increasingly attached to my sister's offspring.
Even factoring out the distance to my side of the fam, it is hard to come up with the best place between the kids (in two different towns, mind you) and Columbus.
Then there is my need to be within a 20 minute drive to a Target that further complicates things, since its Blue Signed Department Store Country, excluding the ritzy burbs of the state capital.
I'm on the verge of suggesting RV living for us, because really, thinking of all the driving and the cost of gas to do that driving, makes me ill.
A friend on Twitter even informed me the particular Blue Signed Department Store welcomes overnight RV parking for free. Parking Lot-Sweet-Parking Lot.
I guess I need to accept the fact that we will be spending some major time in cars for the rest of our lives....and then start saving for something roomier but gas efficient, since my car hit 100,000 miles earlier this summer and really isn't all that great for Ohio winters.
It sucks to grow up.........
There is no place that is a neutral good in-between place for us to be.
Right now, we are 30 minutes from Kiddo, 45 minutes from my parents, 1 hour from my niece, 1 hour 20 min from my in-laws and 1 hour and 45 minutes from Little One.
The closer we go towards the kids and his parents, the farther we become from mine. I have come to accept this, but it doesn't make the idea of being even farther away from them any easier....especially since I've become increasingly attached to my sister's offspring.
Even factoring out the distance to my side of the fam, it is hard to come up with the best place between the kids (in two different towns, mind you) and Columbus.
Then there is my need to be within a 20 minute drive to a Target that further complicates things, since its Blue Signed Department Store Country, excluding the ritzy burbs of the state capital.
I'm on the verge of suggesting RV living for us, because really, thinking of all the driving and the cost of gas to do that driving, makes me ill.
A friend on Twitter even informed me the particular Blue Signed Department Store welcomes overnight RV parking for free. Parking Lot-Sweet-Parking Lot.
I guess I need to accept the fact that we will be spending some major time in cars for the rest of our lives....and then start saving for something roomier but gas efficient, since my car hit 100,000 miles earlier this summer and really isn't all that great for Ohio winters.
It sucks to grow up.........
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