Happy Birthday, Love.

Today is Fiancé's Birthday.

If I could buy you anything for your birthday, here's what would top the list:

1. infinite time in an awesome recording studio for the band.

2. Some sort of van (perhaps a VW Eurovan?) for band usage as well.

3. a house big enough for us and all our stuff, including space for a "man room"

4. season tickets for the Blue Jackets.

5. cooking lessons for me...which would benefit you in the long run :)

Happy Birthday Babe-xo

We spent a long weekend apart and it only ever makes me appreciate him more when he comes back...I even missed him a little and everything.

Quietly.

Last night a couple Fiance and I are friends with were in town and I met up with them for a beer or two. I thought it was nice they called me since Fiance is out of town til Sunday, and I won't lie, I don't especially like being all alone at home for more than a day. Guy friend of the couple even bought me a beer, it was sweet. Then, out of no where, we were talking about the wedding. I didn't even bring it up. He did. Once the topic had passed, all I could think is "did that just happen?"

Someone else brought up my wedding and began volunteering plans and ideas. It was so bizarre, especially since it was the male part of the couple...which is probably because the female part is one of my bridesmaids and she knows when I need to talk about things I do, but that isn't very often lately.

I've been continuing planning, albeit quietly. We are gathering addresses. Fiance has a list of people I don't know well enough to have their numbers or see them regularly that he's in charge of getting addresses for to me. We made arrangements for the rehearsal dinner, I've chosen a pattern for the flower girls dresses and I'm getting swatches of the bridesmaids dresses this weekend so we can match the colors. The photo of the cake I want has been sent to my future mother in law and she said consider it done. The Bridal Shower is semi-scheduled along with the Bacholorette and we decided to start working on formatting the invites next week. That was all accomplished this past weekend....this is what's already done.....
Ceremony music is chosen. We aren't doing "favors" because I truly feel they are a huge waste of money and resources. My dress is ordered, along with with my bridesmaids too. I have my veil and ideas about my hair. I'm on my hairstylist's calendar and she's willing to come to me as long as she does the maids hair as well. I'm borrowing my sister's shoes for the ceremony, and I'll probably find cute flip flops for after. My bouquet along with my girls and the flower girl baskets are done and we have all the materials for the man flowers and mom/g-ma corsages. The centerpieces are planned, just need assembled closer to the wedding. Honeymoon is half paid for and the flight is completely paid for. We have a ride to the airport arranged and I'm working on getting a car highly discounted/free rental for the week down there from a friend who's husband works for Enterprise. The photographer is almost paid off.

We still need to work out the logistics of the food and flatware. We also need to sit down and spend an afternoon at his parents burning cds to put on my laptop for music. I need to go buy new makeup. We need to work out the ceremony....because he doesn't like it at all and I'm not happy with it the way it is either. We need to get Fiance a wedding band; he bought mine as a set. Fiance needs to work out what the men folk are wearing, but that is all on him :)

I'm just over stressing about the wedding because really, its just a day. Nothing will go exactly as planned and I'm more concerned with savoring it and enjoying it than keeping everything perfect.

Totally Random.

1. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Ketel One Vodka and Red Bull...I'm a sucker for the caffeine infused buzz.

2. Favorite Non-Alcoholic Drink: Really good Iced tea with lemon.

3. Favorite Place to Visit: (I don't travel enough to answer this but anyway) Beachy places.

4. Favorite Breakfast Food: I'm partial to ommlettes.

5. Favorite Vehicle: Volkswagens. I would LOVE a decked out 2008 Jetta.

6. Favorite Fast Food Spot: McD's. I heart Big Mac's like a kid loves Chuck E. Cheese.

7. Favorite Shoes: Flops. I entertain the idea that I love cute shoes, but realize I buy them and rarely wear them.

8. Favorite Sport: Hockey. Its fantabulous.

9. Favorite Thing to do in my Free Time: Read.

10. Favorite Snack/Junk Food: Salty: cheetos Sweet: just about anything involving chocolate.

Goals for Today

I haven't exactly been doing so well on the healthy lifestyle front lately. I gained 2.4 pounds since March 11th. Now I know this doesn't sound like much, but in the world where I strive to lose at least a pound a week, this is a minor set back. I'm getting back on track starting today.

short term goals:
Walk, bike or do any other moderate to high intensity activity at least 5 days a week.
Write down everything that goes in my mouth.
Buy more fresh produce and lean protein than processed low fat snacks. I'm really bad about snacking. I'll snack on low-fat things, but when its all processed crap, its really not that much better for ya.
Use my free weights at least 4 times a week.

long term goals:
Be happy in swim suit.
Stick with short term goals for at least 3 weeks in effort to make them habits.
Completely quit smoking, including social smoking while drinking.

There is a yoga session coming up at the studio right by my place in town...I'm going to call them and see if there is still room in it.

Grateful.

So I'm all over the online social networking world. Myspace, Facebook, Twitter...even a cool little Ning network called Offbeat Bride Tribe. This blog is my own little place...and I know very, very few people (probably just the one real-life friend who follows when she is uber bored) read this, but I don't really care. I'm not really doing this for anyone but myself.

Since all my friends keep up with the surface of what is going on with me via the networks listed above, I felt like I needed a little place to call my own....a place to really dive into the randomness and sometimes ridiculously angsty parts of me....also where people wouldn't wonder....wow, ____'s gone off the deep end again. I really enjoy rambling my thoughts here...again even if no one really reads it. It's the closest thing (besides reading) I have to a hobby these days. Plus I've stumbled across a handful of awesome blogs in the process...and when I do get a bit of feedback from my few and far between comments to them, I love it.

My point to all of this was focused on my Twitter this AM (I usually only update it in the morning and sometimes at night...unless something exciting happens, which usually doesn't happen.) It was something along the lines of, trying to only think positive thoughts today. Now, I can't say I completely succeeded, but I can say my attempt has left me with a very good mood.

I am so very thankful for what I have today. Including my random, not-at-all-popular blog.

hmmmph.

I feel like poo. Went to the doctor and peed in a cup for them to diagnose what I thought would be a UTI, but Doc comes back in and tells me it actually came back negative and as she is walking out of the door again tells me we'll treat it as a UTI and go from there...I stop her by saying, well what else could it be? She says, well, the test could be wrong and you really do have one, or we'll just wait and see. From the lady who's vag doesn't have a nagging burning sensation for the past week: we'll just wait and see. Fuck you lady. If it isn't better by Thursday, I'm calling my gyno and telling them the story and trying to get in ASAP.

I also haven't been sleeping well. I don't know if this is related at all, but it definitely doesn't help anything. I almost called off work today just because I want to sleep all day. Plus, my boss man is out all week and the few things I have to do this week could be completed in about 2 hours. I love my job, but when sicky, I'd rather be in bed.

I had a horrid wedding nightmare over the weekend. In it, Fiance's family told us we should have the wedding now, while we were at some random house for a weekend. I ended up in my sister's wedding dress, which was too big, doing my own hair and makeup (which for me, would be horrible, since I'm not great at those things), my parents couldn't make it because my dad fell down and got a concussion (?) and the kicker: When I demand to see Fiance before the alleged ceremony, because I wanted to tell him I don't want to do the wedding today, he has shaved his head, all facial hair (he usually rocks the goatee and a beard in the winter) and got his septum pierced. I begin crying at this point and then wake up, realizing it was nothing but a really bad dream. All the things sound really trival, but the feeling of no one listening to me/caring what I thought was the worst part of it. I haven't been thinking about the wedding much at all lately...so I guess this was my subconscious telling me I need to plan more?

I feel I have bitched and moaned enough for today....

I should have called in Irish...

My friend who is having a party today/tonight wanted me to tell my work its a cultural holiday for me. Since I'm not a religous person AND I work with three men who happen to be Muslim so they take all the religious holidays, I actually thought about trying to bow out early. Even if I get most Christian holidays....buuuut, Fiance and I are going to a NHL hockey game tomorrow night, so I might have to try and play that card then. Who knows. If I would have planned better, I would have called in sick today and at least gotten to get swasted during the day...even if I have to work tomorrow (I have to give two tests and would probably get reprimanded for not coming in).

I began my day by attempting to rip off my plastic-as-hell bumper on a concrete parking block at work. Then I furthered the excitement of the day by leaving my cell in Fiance's car (he came to McGuyver that shit for me, once we ran to the store for zip ties) thus cutting me off completely to the world, besides the interweb. If the network goes down, I may cease to exist.

Isn't it funny how we have come to validate our lives through internet networking sites and text messaging. We are in almost constant contact with people, or if nothing more, a phone call away. It feels funny to not have my phone, even though it rarely rings between 8 and 5 weekdays.

Sláinte and drive safe, whatever you do tonight...