Saturday, November 6, 2010

Day Six: Never.

Something you hope to never have to do.

In all honesty (this is after all, 30 days of truth) I had a hard time thinking of an answer for this. I've been thinking about it for a few days, and the best I can come up with is: I hope I never bury my husband. Then I feel like an a**hole and selfish for some reason. Then the more I think about it, the more it makes sense....I hope to never have to live in a world where he doesn't exist. And then I think about it some more and get all panicky since, being the sociology major that I was, I know women's life expectancy is around 7 years longer than men on average. But then I remember a study I read once about how left handed people are prone to die before right handed people (I'm a lefty)....then I remind myself shit happens all the time, and we're only in our twenties and to stop thinking these things. It doesn't get you anywhere and it keeps you from living in the present.

I digress (I haven't had any coffee today and I just got up from a nap, so that could be why.....)

I've spent more time single than in a relationship at this point in my life, mostly because I was picky. HAH wait the honest explanation: the guys I actually wanted to be with just wanted to be friends, and most of the time we were. I was sort of famous for trying to date my guy friends and I was usually cool enough of a person to not be weird about it afterwards. So when I found the husband, back at the end of 2005, on one level I knew things were different; mostly because despite gigantic red flags (i.e. baby mama drama) that would have kept most girls from getting romantically involved did nothing for me but mostly because it just felt different and right whenever we were together. Almost 6 years later and I can't imagine him not being here. I can't imagine having to tell the girls he's gone.

So I plan on us living forever, so far it's working.....ooooor we'll go out in a painfully romantic way a la the Notebook...although the more realistic version is how Johnny Cash died less than 4 months after his wife, June Carter Cash.

Until then I'm thankful every day for the time we have together....even on the days he drives me crazy, I'm happy to have him here, doing so.

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