Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Parenting (or lack thereof)

Here's a tidbit of common sense: If you can not/do not want to take care of your kids, DO NOT HAVE THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. If you are in a situation that involves an unplanned pregnancy when you are 15, 16, 17 years old, you know your options. There are so many people in this world willing to adopt your baby because they can't have their own who can give them the love and attention they deserve.


My oldest step-daughter's (Kiddo) mom drives me crazy. She makes me blind with rage and emotion and all my husband does is shrugs his shoulders and tells me there's no point in getting upset and that he has been dealing with her for 10 years now. He has created a very tough armor against her (even though about twice a year, she cracks him and he gets really upset, when this happens, I have a very strong desire to physically harm her, something I've never felt before) which I have yet to form. Plus I am a woman. I am emotional by default of my wiring. I may not have my own children nor do I plan on ever having them, but I love my step-daughter dearly. I feel like she is getting shafted in the Momma department, big time.

Her mother doesn't ever stay home with her when she is sick, her mother calls Husband or her mom to stay home with her (Husband is always more than willing to do so, but its the blatant fact that she doesn't want to have to use her time off work), she doesn't take her to any of the activities we are constantly asked for money for (on top of the child support my husband pays), she doesn't feed her breakfast in the mornings nor does she make sure she brushes her teeth at night. She's 8 years old, you have to tell them to do that! Once a week Kiddo spends the night with her maternal grandparents and every other weekend she is not with us in the summer, she spends it with them, regardless of where her mother is.

Whenever we try and plan things to do with Kiddo, she is difficult. She makes plans during our weekends on a constant basis. She took Kiddo out of school two weeks AFTER spring break, for an entire week to take her to DisneyWorld. This kept her out of town on one of our weekends, and next week they leave to go to Florida for a second vacation that will be over another one of our weekends.

I really wanted to plan a day trip to a local amusement park for the Monday after Father's Day weekend, thinking it would be so fun for Kiddo to spend a Friday-Tuesday with us, then Husband reminded me her Mom's brother's wedding is Father's Day weekend, so we probably won't see her at all.

It's so frustrating. I wish we could all get along like adults. I truly do, but that is definitely not the case with her. I wish she gave Kiddo the attention she deserves. I never, ever want anyone to think I am trying to replace her mom, I mean, its her mom! I just want her to be happy and healthy, neither of which I feel her mother is contributing to, besides buying her expensive gifts and "taking" her on expensive vacations (her parents paid for DisneyWorld and her husband's parents are taking them to the beach next week)

I could just scream.

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