Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Step-parenting: such a slippery slope.

When a lady finds herself in the position of step-mom, there are tons of emotional escapades that will follow. Last Friday was definitely one of the all time worst. I've never been physically ill from something that has happened, but this almost made me throw-up, I was so angry.

My oldest step daughter (AKA Kiddo around these parts) is quite possibly the best behaved 7 year old on the planet. She listens, she never back-talks and rarely throws anything resembling even a mild temper tantrum. She is very smart and it is a joy to me to be a part of her life. I've written in the past about how Kiddo's mother isn't the best female role model for a young girl so I really try to be a good person/woman for Kiddo to be around. In not so nice words: her mother is a selfish bitch.

Friday Husband and I took the day off work to figure out Halloween costumes. He picks up Kiddo from school most days, so I was along for the ride. Usually Kiddo goes to a babysitter after school for two hours, but on this day, her mother's other child (with her now husband) was sick, so Kiddo was going to her mom's instead, after we dropped off the babysitter's son, who gets a ride sometimes. All of this was explained on the short drive from their school to the babysitter's house. While husband walked the second grader to his door, I asked (the oddly quiet) Kiddo if she was thinking about what to be for Halloween next year (they had dressed up for a party this day; she was the cutest darn cowgirl ever and I was UBER pissed I didn't have my camera) and I got an "I-I-I don't know!" in between sobs. When I asked her what was wrong, she said, "I miss my Daddy!" This broke my heart. Once I recovered I asked her if she thought this was a weekend she was coming home with us, and she nodded. Husband tried his best to console her once he was back in the car, and told her he would ask her mom if she could stay at least that night with us.

I don't ever participate in the door to door drop off part of things, because, quite frankly, her mother makes me very uncomfortable, plus we don't want to give her the satisfaction of being able to see me on a regular basis. She is very judgemental and her thing is backhanded comments and snide remarks, Husband doesn't want me to have to deal with her anymore than I already do. Anyway, he takes Kiddo up and meets her mother at the front door, I can see them talking and then I see Husband pick her up and give her a long hug, which I know means her mom said no. As her child stood there crying, because she misses her father, who is WAY MORE than willing to have her spend the evening with him, she says no. What the F*CK is wrong with this woman?

(Let me add this side note: Husband pays court ordered support for Kiddo, but when it was processed, he was still in college, so they agreed to not have a formal court ordered visitation schedule, since his work schedule changed often but that they would follow it as best they could and be flexible with things. This is supposed to be Friday at 6pm until Sunday at 6pm every other weekend and one day during the week. Now that he has a 9 to 5 job, you would think this would be easy to follow except Kiddo's mom is a bitch. We haven't had her on a week day in two goddamn years, but she does stay with her Maternal grandparents 1 to 2 times per week...I know wtf is that shit?)

It made me so sad and angry at the same time I actually thought I was going to throw up for a minute once he got back in the car. He told me when her mother said no, Kiddo sobbed even louder. Its so hard to watch a woman emotionally hurt her child like that and not be able to do a damn thing about it. It is truly maddening. Plus Husband has been dealing with this for five years (since him and Kiddo's mom split) so he just buries the anger because he knows there is nothing to change her ways.

I really didn't know where I was going with this, but I feel better getting it out there, so thanks for reading.

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